Feelings you can't deny
by TrueLoveAlwaysLP
Summary: Peyton rejected Lucas' proposal in LA. He is hurt and gets together with his editor. But what happens if Peyton returns to Tree Hill and he sees her again? LP
1. Always Love

**AN: So this is my second story. When I was travelling I listened to ****a lot of music(It was a really long ride) and this story just popped into my head. It plays of after Lucas' proposal to Peyton in LA. I will switch between Peyton and Lucas. Each chapter is named after the song that inspired me. I hope you like it. Please give me a review/feedback. The more I get, the more I am motivated to continue this story. They are waht keep me writing.**

**Always love**

_By Nada Surf_

_Peyton_

'What the hell just happened?' Peyton thought all over again. She was still in the hotel room in LA. She was staring blankly at the ceiling for what seemed like forever. She looked at the digital display of the clock next to her bed. It was 5.30 am.

How was this possible?How can a life that was so good just hours ago feel so empty, so meaningless? She had had it all: a job in an important record studio with the possibility to change something – someday - ,great friends who were more like a family, and most importantly she was – or better had been – with the man of her dreams. She had been with her only true love after so much pain,waiting,crying, denying their feelings, they had finally found their way to each other and she had been happy like never before and now...now she had lost him. She had lost Lucas.

He had paid her a surprise visit in LA after winning the championship as head coach and he wanted to celebrate with her. It was as if her sun had returned after a very long time of absence and now there was only darkness. Darkness so thick she couldn't see any hope or light wherever she turned.

And all this because she had said 'Someday'.

She could still see the pain in Lucas clear, blue eyes when she had accepted his proposal. When she entered the room Lucas had been Lying asleep on the bed. He had looked so lucky, hopeful and she had watched him for sometime before she saw the little box on the floor next to the bed. She knew immediately what it was : an engagement ring, _the _engagement ring Keith once gave Karen.

This was his reason for coming here. He had reached everything he wanted in this gym and only this piece was missing: Peyton standing next to his side.

Peyton had suspected something like this when she had had to go back to work after arriving late and Lucas had just told her that Whitey made him head coach and that it was almost like in senior year when they had won the state championship.

That was the moment when they had got together finally. Ha had towards hers and kissed her and it was like a thousand fireworks exploding in her stomach. She felt safe, safer than ever in her life knowing that he was there and that he wanted to be with her.

She would never ever forget this moment and this certain expression on his face. It said: 'No matter what happens I will never leave you, never. I wanna be with you for all my life.'

She had seen exactly this expression, just as her mobil rang and she had to leave.

On her way she got the feeling like Lucas wanted to ask her something very important and when she saw that little box she knew it was _the question_.

She thought what this would mean for her life. She was just about to get a promotion as personal assitant in maybe 2 or 3 months, as her boss has indicated, if she was ready to to work hard. And after seeing Lucas again and hearing about his success she realised that she wanted to reach something, too.

Somethingto bulid a career on and maybe opening her own record studio, one day. If she accepted his proposal she would give up that chance.

She wanted to be with him more than anything else, but first she wanted to fullfil her professional goals. She wanted to be happy with herself , she had to know that she had something on her own to live from. She wanted to marry Lucas when she was sure of this. She wanted to be independent. And she just had not had that basement yet.

So she rejected his proposal and when she said 'someday' she meant it. She wanted to marry Lucas, just not now. She knew that her heart was yearning for nothing else, but her head told her to wait.

First she wanted to see him more. In the past year she had only seen him every few months and before they decided to spend their whole life together she simply wanted to be sure that they were both ready.

But for Lucas her rejection meant the end of their relationship.

And so everything she had planned broke apart and she lost him. She had lost Lucas, her only true love and getting a promotion wasn't so important anymore, it meant nothing.

She had lost her sun, her reason to be happy, to make something out of her life because she had decided according to her head instead of her heart.

**AN: So what do you think? Each review is appreciated. Please, please review.**

**TrueLoveAlwaysLP**

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	2. Never Say Never

**AN: Thank you to all those who reviewed. ****I hadn't expected it, even some story alerts.**

**In this chapter I will describe Lucas feelings after Peyton rejected his proposal. You will soon realise that most of the songs are from the Fray. This is because whenever I listen to a song by the Fray I think:T his is it. Their music is perfect. I will try to bring some other musicians in, too.**

**I hope you like the new chapter. Tell me what you think and keep reviewing. **

**Never say Never**

_By the Fray_

_Lucas_

Lucas was standing in his bedroom in Tree Hill. He was excited. There were roses all over the place and in front of him, right in the middle of his bed there was _his_ novel. It had been published, finally. But the best part was when a female voice was whispering something into his ear. He knew this voice very well. Her lovely could he not recognise her?

She said: "Happy anniversary, Luke."

He turned around with a wide smile on his face. There in front of him, was a blond woman with curly hair and sparkling, marvellous eyes. Peyton, his wife. He hugged her and kissed her softly. She took his hand and led him to the bed. She was looking ecstatic in her black Pink Floyd t-shirt anf her neat blue jeans.

"Do you remember the last time you wore this t-shirt?", he said smirking.

"How could I forget. That was when you proposed to me. That was the best day of my life.", she said and gave him a soft kiss.

"It was mine, too." ,he said and thought for a moment. "Can you imagine what our life would be like if you had not accepted my proposal?"

"Luke", she said incredulously, "How can you ask me that?Why would I have rejected?I want to be with you, always."

This was ridiculous. Peyton would never do this to him, never. But why did he felt such agony. It felt like his heart had been ripped out of his body.

Lucas awoke from his dream and realised that he was still in LA on that fateful day. Peyton was lying next to him her arm wrapped around his chest and her head on his shoulder. She held him close to her, as if she was afraid that he would be gone any minute. That was exactly what he had planned to do. But yet he was still here, next to her, knowing that it would be the last time. He just couldn't stand being here and knowing that she didn't want the same thing as he wanted.

He wanted to be with forever. He had realised that all the success in the world meant nothing without her. He had watched Nathan, haley and Jamie after they had won the championship and he felt so alone when he had seen theie joy. He wished that Peyton would have been there.

She had said no to a future with him. After so much time apart he wanted to spend every day with her. He wanted to be happy with her, he wanted to be with her whether it was a good day or a bad day because with her everyday was a gift. Whatever would happen, knowing that she was there made everything else insignificant.

But she had said no. He had seen her three times face to face this year and when they had been talking over the phone this had been the highlight of his day. But this was not enough. Some phone calls, late night chats and sending instant messages was no way to be in a relationship like theirs.

And he wanted to change that. No matter if that meant that he had to quit his new job as head coach. He would have given up everything, just to be with her. He had thought that she had felt the same way. But apparently she didn't.

She wanted to chase her dream before settling down. Her priorities were pretty much her job and then their relationship. She thought publishing his novel was top on his list but she was wrong. He wanted to be with couldn't she see that?

This hurt so much. He had thought that they were meant to be together. He had known from the beginning and after all those fences they had found their way together. His heart had finally been now? It had been shattered into pieces knowing that she didn't feel the way he did.

He pulled her arm carefully away from his chest and stood up. She was lying there, peacefully and mumbling his name. Her voice was full of love, desperation and...desire. he went to the armchair and watched it possible that she had changed her mind? That she had realised her love for him was stronger than her wish to follow her professional dreams? Lucas felt like his heart was melting again and his heartbeat was speeding. Was there still hope for them? But then his heart broke into pieces again. He turned away and let the pain sink in.

She had said 'someday'. She wasn't ready to marry him now. And if she wasn't ready now would she ever be ready? 'Someday'? What that if someday there was something else that held her if her love for him would fade the further they grew apart.

He could not risk that. His heart was already in so much agony he was barely able to he stayed with her, hoping that she would be would that do to his heart?His heart ached to be with her but the pain was unbearable.

He stood up and gave Peyton a soft kiss on the forehead. When he had gone a few steps he turned around to look at her for one last time. He made sure to remember this picture somewhere deep down, hidden in his heart. It would be the end of a life full of love and suffering but also happiness and perfection.

He turned around and closed the door behind him. He had no idea what happened just one minute after he had left.

Peyton awoke her head spinning, her heart aching for him and regretting her decision.

**AN****: So what do you think?Please review. Every feedback is appreciated.**


	3. Fall away

**AN: This is my new chapter. ****Sorry about the late update but school just started again and I am already burried in homework and additionaly we have to read this stupid book. I would prefer to work on chapter 4. I will try to update as soon as I can. **

**Thanks for all of your reviews.**

**M'sOTPisLP : I hope the next chapters will cheer you up. The first 2 chapters were the basement for the following story arch and of course 5.05 was sad. There will be more LP-moments coming and I hope you like it.**

**Bendecidad82: I am glad that I helped you understand. I just wrote what I thought was going on in Lucas' head accordind to his character, their relationship and the knowledge we get later in season 5. **

**LPfan4ever,RJMoonspell: thank you for your reviews**

**Lalez: Thak you very much for correcting my spelling mistakes. You are a great beta-reader.**

**Fall away**

_By the Fray_

Peyton

Peyton was sitting in a big office at the label in LA. There were a lot of records at the wall. All these artists had been signed here. In front of her was a big desk . And on it was a contract waiting to get signed.

Peyton looked around, happy. This was her working place. She did what she loved, listening to bands and publishing their records. Everything was great. Right in front of her was a framed picture of her with Brooke, Haley, Nathan and...Lucas. They stood there with their arms around each other, laughing together. When she looked at Lucas' smiling face a sudden warmth went through her whole body. And then there was something else: sadness, emptiness.

Because this wasn't the present, this was the past. She wasn't in Tree Hill anymore and she hadn't seen or spoken to any of her friends in a long time. And her relationship with Lucas...was over.

"Oh I must have the wrong office. No, that's me, John Knight, Label President. Last I knew, you were uh, Peyton Sawyer, Assistant to the assistant of the label president. And your desk was, where is your desk?", a male voice asked sarcastically.

Peyton awoke from her daydream. The man speaking was John, her boss and this was indeed his office. She was just the asssitent to the assistent, as John reminded her again.

She took a her deep breath and said:

"I'm sorry I was just, arranging your trades, delivering the online download reports, updating your call sheet, and admiring your view. Also, Mr. Knight, Uh, I have a couple unsigned bands that I'd really love for you to hear."

"Peyton, I'm losing my hair. I'm hung over; I have two different alimony payments due, and seven lines ringing.", he said as if he hadn't heard her at all.

They exchanged a few words and when Peyton was about to go John suddenly said:

"You look good. Drop a button on that top and I'll let you set in on the morning new music session. One button, one song. And get me some aspirin."

Peyton looked at him for a moment, unsure about what to say or do. She hesitated for a moment and dropped the button. John smiled and she went out of the office. As soon as she was out of John's office she closed the button again. _Maybe it was worth it_, she thought to herself. If she could just one good band to John's attention this disgusting thing wasn't so bad. She didn't like to use her body to get what she wants to, but when it came to working with John...well that was all that counts. She would never do this again. She swore to herself. This was not how it was supposed to be.

Later that night Peyton went home after work. She had been in the meeting but they had signed a sexy actress with no talent because she would be a great celebrity. She had had the possibility to play one of the bands she thought were great. But after a few seconds John had told a co-worker to stop the music and they had decided to sign the actress.

Peyton's band had had talent, great songs and something special. But the label was only interested in making profit instead of investing in bands that could change someone's life. Music that reached people's hearts. Music could help people, make them feel better, like it had been helping her when she had lost her two mothers and all the drama during high school.

She passed a place where a few books were on sale and stood abruptly. There was a book she knew all to well. It was a grey, white book cover with a raven on picked it up and flipped through it slowly. All those memories came back and she remembered how happy she was. Living in Tree Hill, hanging out at the music store, rivercourt, the gym, Tric and Karen's Cafe. Being with her friends and talking about stuff that really mattered. Back then there was no dropping buttons to get what you want. She had fought for her dreams, they had fought together. She looked up and saw that some magazines were also being sold. She recognised the "B. Davis" and Brooke was on the cover. She missed her best friend. Brooke would know immediately how to cheer her up after a bad day at work. Brooke had always known what was best for her, almost.

She bought the book and the magazine and went back to her apartment.

When she entered her apartment she immediately went to her bookshelf and put the copy of "An Unkindness of Ravens" next to the other copies she already had. The magazine found its place next to the novels. She picked up the audio edition of the novel and put it in the CD-player. She automatically switched to chapter three.

She heard a voice she had not heard for years and hearing this voice filled her heart with sadness and anger at herself. She had lost Lucas because she had been insecure. Insecure about being with the love of her life forever. The voice of the audio book, Lucas' voice spoke:

"Chapter 3: Peyton Sawyer's destined for greatness. Actually, she's already great because Peyton Sawyer has a thing called integrity and nothing or no one is ever going to change that. I remember the first time I met her…"

She pressed the stop button. She suddenly realised what had gone wrong. She had moved to LA to chase her dreams, to put her past behind. But now hearing these words, hearing how she used to be it let something in her head click.

She came here to be great, she came to reach something to fulfill her dreams. But she had fallen apart from her goals. All that she had done was delivering mails, bringing people coffee and aspirin and all of those great bands that should have been signed, which she wanted to get signed to reach the teens that were asking themselves whát life was about, she hadn't reached anything. She had been here for four years and still had not reached anything she wanted.

Somewhere in those four years she had lost herself. She had strayed from who she used to be. She did not have real fun, a real conversation, a meaningful day since...since that fateful day tree years ago in that hotel room in LA. That was the day when she had last seen Lucas. She had cut the last strings attaching her to her past.

She went to pick up the phone and dialled a number she had not called in the last few months.

"Hi. It's Peyton. Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry, I know it's late there. I just… What happened to us? Ya know?"

„I don't know who I am how I got here. I missed who I used to be. And real friends. You know the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that. And i miss you. I guess I miss all of it."

"Okay, let me ask you something. What is going to make you happy Peyton? Is it how you look, or the car you drive, or the people you know? Is it money, or celebrity or power or accomplishments?", Brooke asked. "Because I have all those things and I don't think that it's enough."

"Well then what is it?"Peyton asked back.

All these questions had been in her head the whole day and talking to Brooke about it had always helped her get her thoughts in order to figure out what she needed. Talking to someone who understood her feelings.

"Love, I think. And that love can be for a boy or a girl or a place or a way of life or even for a family. But where you find it is up to you. So where are you going to find that love Peyton?"

I felt good to speak to Brooke again. Brooke was right. She hadn't found any love here. She had not made any real friends in LA. She had been too busy with work. And even if she had it would not be the same. She missed her friends from Tree Hill. The ones she could laugh with, who knew her and those she had cried with. She missed being herself. Not to take care of every word you say because it might be the wrong ones. Having a day that was worth to be remembered, even if it hurt.

She had to go home, to Tree Hill. The only place in the world she knew she could find that love. The only place she had been happy, where she felt like she belonged.

"I think I need to go home", she answered.

"I was hoping you would say that", Brooke said and Peyton knew Brooke was smiling.

She was smiling, too. She knew that the decision to go home was the first right decision she had made in a long time. She was absolutely sure about it.

The next morning her plane landed in Tree Hill and the first moment she set a foot on the earth she felt like finally being where she belonged. She was at the right only place where she could figure out how to become herself again.

She picked up her luggage and put it in the trunk of her comet. She stated driving without thinking about it. The wind blew her hair across her face and she listened to a mix CD she had made before graduating.

She stopped and realised that she had driven directly to the river-court. She turned around and saw the old basket the stairs and when she looked down she saw the signatures of Haley, Nathan, Brooke, Mouth, her own, Skills, Chase, and Lucas all around the words "We were here".

She heard a basketball slamming on the cement and she hesitated before turning around. A tall blond was walking towards her. He was wearing a white t-shirt and plain jeans. When he saw her he stopped and looked at her as if he couldn' t believe his eyes. Lucas was standing there staring at her in disbelief.

Her heart started beating faster at the sight of him and she slowly walked in his direction.

**AN: So what do you think? As I said the more reviews I get the more I am eager to update. I will try update as soon as possible. Please R&R.**

**TrueLoveAlwaysLP**


	4. Over My Head & She Is

**AN: Sorry for the late update. You see this chapter is much longer than the ones before. I think it is the longest chapter I ever wrote. I had so many ideas I wanted to write down so it took me some time to finish this chapter. This chapter is inspired by two songs. They were both fitting so good that I combined it. **

**So from now on my story will take another direction as the show. I will still include the shows story arc( I love the emotional LP-conversations in S5). I will change what I think should have happened. At the beginning of the chapter I explained Lucas feelings in the 3 years since the break-up so this of course includes Lindsay. But of course this is a Leyton-story.**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed**

**benecidad82&LPfan4ever: Thanks for your reviews.**

**lukenpeyton4ever: I didn't like Lucas' behaviour towards Peyton, too. So if you read this chapter you will see the difference.**

**RJMoonspell4: I know the last few chapters were very close to the show but this will change now. I hope you like the changes. **

**OTHGirl24: Yeah Lindsay will be around. But it won't be like on the show. I did include your suggestion. **

**If you have any idea what should be different from the shows' story arc tell me. I am grateful for suggestions.**

**So enjoy the new chapter. I am grateful for every review I get. Tell me what you like and also what could be better. I am open for criticism. After all I just stated and I need to get better. You guys help me with your feedbacks a lot.**

**Over my head & She is**

_By The Fray_

Lucas

Lucas was walking to the river-court while dribbling a basketball. Everyone kept reminding him that he should write again. He knew that already and didn't need everyone to remind him that he had writers block. He had not written any good pages since...since he finished his first novel. He didn't know what stopped him. He had always enjoyed writing and he couldn't think of any reason. He was with his family, just started as the head coach of the Ravens and he was happy with Lindsay.

Three years ago he was pretty devastated when Peyton had rejected his proposal. He had thought that he would never be able to love a woman again. All the pain he had been through. He had barely been able to breathe, his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

He shook his head. He didn't want to think about this time. He had been a mess and everyone around him had looked at him with pity. Seeing Nathan and Haley hadn't helped. It had made it worse. He had imagined his life with her, living in his house, preparing their wedding and most importantly seeing her every day, talking to her, looking into her beautiful green eyes that set his soul and heart into flames. Flames of love, bliss and passion.

Three years ago this flame had vanished from his life. He had met Lindsay, his editor. They had been working very hard, through many sleepless nights to make the absolute best out of "The Unkindness of Ravens". Lindsay had reminded him of his life told in the novel,in his carefully chosen words. The words he had chosen to describe the love of his life. Dealing with all those memories was the only thing that helped him get through the day. He didn't want to think about the painful memories in LA. He had thrown himself into work. Working over the lines he had dedicated to her, remembering the times they were happy, remembering their long friendship, his relationship with Brooke and all the other events that had made their bound even stronger over the years. All those memories, written down carefully in his novel, that meant so much to him. Those memories kept him going.

Lindsay had been there. She had worked hard with him to get the best out of his novel, the story of his life. She knew exactly what it meant to him. She had understood why he refused to change some parts for example the shooting. They had become friends very fast and after the book-signing they had started dating. This was two years ago.

A year ago her father had died and since Lucas had lost Keith, his father, their bound had gotten even stronger than before. He knew what she was going through.

The anger towards the person who was responsible that a beloved person had died. He had been very angry at Dan, he even planned to kill him. But in the tragic events when he had almost set his plan into action his mother and unborn sister had nearly died. Dan had committed Keith' murder and Karen and Lily had survived.

And Lindsay had been devastated. She thought about everything that had gone wrong with her father and Lucas helped her get through this time of grieving.

She had helped him, motivated him to look forward again and he had supported her in a situation in which she needed support.

Lindsay had become a constant in his life. Being with her was easy, talking to her, laughing together. She knew when to leave him alone and when to push him to talk. He could count on her to be there.

It was the complete opposite to his relationship with Peyton. It took them years to become a real couple, there had always been that sparkle between them but life was so hard with her. Tragedy seemed to follow her everywhere. He never knew what to say or to do. She had been through so much in her life that he did not want to do her any harm. Plus all this tragedy had made her very careful. She cared deeply about the people she loved but somehow he did not know which role he had in her life. Was he just a friend or more than that? They never seemed to have the right timing. There always seemed to be something between them. But on the other hand she had made him who he was now, even if it had been painful, very painful. His best memories were with her, about her but also the cruel ones. But he was not in her life any more. She had given up their love and these wounds had took very long to heal.

He was glad that he was with Lindsay now. She made him feel good. He had never thought he could be happy again. But he was. She had made him happy.

And then he saw her. A tall, skinny blond woman with curls was standing on the river-court. She was looking down where they once had written all their names. They had promised to come home four years later. But he had never thought that she would indeed come home, not after how they ended things.

Why was she back?Why? She had been gone for three years. She had worked to fulfil her dream in LA. She had rejected his proposal because her career had been more important to her than their relationship. His heart had hoped that she would come back but he had given up hoping. Hoping for her to come home, where she had suffered so much pain, had lost so many beloved people. Brooke was in New York and as far as he knew she barely had any contact with Nathan and Haley. And she surely was not back for him. So why was she back?Why had she returned?Why now?

He had arrived at the river-court and stood there stunned. He did not understand it, no matter how hard he tried.

She walked towards him with a shy smile on her face. He still stood there unable to move not even an inch.

When she saw his insecurity she hesitated and stopped.

There were only two meters apart now. He saw that she was about to say something and then he blurred out the question that had been circling in his head since he had seen her.

'What are you doing here?Why aren't you in LA?'

She stood there stunned as if she had been slapped in the face. She opened her mouth and shut it again before saying a single word.

Was this question so hard to answer?Had his words been so harsh? Why was she hesitating to answer?

She opened her mouth and said:

'I quit my job in LA. That is why I am here. I wanted to go home.'

As she said it he could tell from the sound of her voice that she was being honest. But he got the feeling that she was holding back something.

'I don't get it. Last time you were talking about Tree Hill you said it was a psycho stalker and two dead mums. What changed? You said you wanted to start over. Coming Back does not sound like starting over to me.'

These words just came through his lips. He could not help it. All those hurt feelings he had hidden deep in his brain were overwhelming him now. He could not keep his voice from sounding angry.

She stood there, rigid, unable to move. She answered with a strong voice as if she was not just answering his assumptions but a question she had been asking herself, too.

' I wanted to come back because I missed Tree Hill. I missed my friends, the places we used to spend so much time at and...' she stopped for a moment and continued,' I guess I missed all of it. Even if I have some painful memories here I was also happy. Tree Hill is home.'

When he heard her he got the feeling like she had wanted to say something else, too. He somehow knew what it was but he did not allow himself to think about it.

His mobile rang. He read Lindsay' s name on the display. He turned around so his back was facing Peyton, as if creating an invisible wall and walked a few steps away.

'Hey Luke. It's me. I just wanted you to know I am at the house. Where are you?',

Lindsay asked.

'I am at the river-court. I needed some fresh air.' he said in a low voice.

'Are you OK? You sound different.', she asked concerned.

'I am OK, don't worry. I will be back in an hour. Bye.', he reassured her.

'See you later, Luke. I love you.'

He hung up and turned around to face Peyton again. She looked composed.

'So how are you?' she asked.

'I am fine. Listen I have to go. Are you going to be in town for a while?', he said hoping that she would say yes.

' I am not going anywhere. Brooke is coming back, too. I have to pick her up from the airport anyway. I guess I will see you around then.'

She said and walked passed him. He stayed at his current position but he could swear that she turned around and looked back at him.

--0--

The next morning Lucas was jogging his usual round. Well, not exactly his usual one. He needed to clear his head from all those confusing emotions. So he was awake pretty soon when Lindsay was still sleeping. He was out for an hour instead of his usual 30 minutes. He did not sleep well. There were too many thought that kept his mind busy.

He returned to his house and entered through the back door leading directly to his room.

The bed was empty so he assumed that Lindsay was in the kitchen, making breakfast.

He took a shower and went to the kitchen. When he entered the room he could smell bacon and eggs. Lindsay turned around and smiled.

' Hey you. When did you wake up this morning? You were already gone when I woke up.' she asked and watched him curiously as he sat down at the kitchen table.

' I just woke up earlier and thought I might run a little bit longer because you weren't awake yet and I didn' t want to wake you. Plus I would not miss your breakfast for anything.', he said casually.

' You are so sweet, you know that?', she said attached and added, ' I will have lunch with Haley this afternoon. Do you mind picking me up at Nathan's and Haley's house?'

' Sure. At what time should I be there?', he answered.

' One o'clock would be fine.', she said happy and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

--0--

Lucas was parking his truck in front of the Scott residence. It was 12.45 so he was a little bit too early but maybe he would get a chance to talk to Nathan while the girls were not there. Nate has been a mess ever since his accident and it was a rough time for Haley,too. Nathan was drinking way too much and it was hard to keep Jamie from finding out how bad it really was.

He walked up the stairs to the front porch and rang the door bell. Five Minutes later Nate opened the door. He didn't looked pleased to see him at all. Well Nathan hadn't looked happy for four months. He was always moaning about how bad his life was.

' Hey bro, how are you?', Lucas asked casually to stop the silence.

'Same as always', Nate said, 'What are you doing here?'

' Lindsay is out for lunch with Haley. I am meant to pick her up. So I thought I might as well come a little bit earlier and have a little chat with my brother.', he explained his appearance.

Nathan signed and let him pass and closed the door behind him.

'What do you want to talk about then? You got that look on your face.', Nathan said.

'What look?' , Lucas asked perplex.

' The I-am-so confused-what- am-I-supposed-to-do look. Last time I saw this look you were...you were coming back from LA three years ago. Has this something to do with a certain green-eyed blond?', he asked directly looking at Lucas who turned his head around to avoid Nathan's gaze.

Just then the doorbell rang. Lucas nodded in his brothers' direction telling him that he would go and open the door.

There she was arm in arm with Brooke. Peyton stood there and met his surprised gaze.

He smiled at the sight of her and she smiled back. He could have stood there forever just looking into her beautiful, sparkling eyes.

She looked so happy while she stood there with her best friend. He had not seen her in a long time and after their conversation last evening he was glad that she indeed intended to stay. She would not want to leave with Brooke in Tree Hill and visiting Nathan and Haley.

A sudden warmth washed over his body as he saw her. Back in Tree Hill, where he was going to see her. He had been trying to ignore the emptiness he had felt since their break up. He had not had the courage to call her. He had been afraid of her reaction. With her return their was a possibility to see her, talk to her. And maybe they could be friends again.

Now it felt like a part of his heart had returned to its right place.

Brooke looked around between the two of them and watched their expressions carefully.

Lucas turned his head toward the brunette and said.

'Hey Brooke. It's great seeing you. You, too Peyton.'

'Yeah it is. I wanted to visit you afterwords but I guess I don't have to. Are Nathan and Haley here? Not that it isn't nice seeing you but I was expecting one of them to open the door.', she said teasingly.

'Nathan is in the living room and Haley should be back any minute. She was having lunch with Lindsay.'

Just at this moment they heard a scream behind them. Haley was running to the front porch and as soon as she arrived she pulled Brooke and Peyton into a hug.

'Hey guys. I haven't expected you to be here greeting us. Aren't you supposed to be in LA ans New York?' , she asked confused.

' We were but we wanted to go home. This is a long story. Don't you want to introduce us to your friend?', Brooke asked, pointing at the pretty brunette standing behind her.

Everyone turned around to look at her. Lindsay had been watching the scene in the background and now took a step towards the reunited group of friends.

She looked at everyone. When she recognised Peyton she was looking anxious between her and Lucas.

Lucas was watching this scene and he saw where Lindsay's gaze went and he felt the tension. Why does it always have to be so awkward? He figured that the best way to ease the tension was to introduce her to Brooke and Peyton.

' Brooke, Peyton. This is Lindsay my girlfriend.'

Surprise spread across Brooke' s and Peyton' s faces. Peyton looked back at Lucas and he could sense mixed feelings there. Not just surprise but also a hurt expression as if she was struggling to keep the tears from falling.

Now he could feel not just Lindsay looking back and forth between him and Peyton but also Haley and Brooke. He felt observed so he said.

' Why do we keep standing in the doorway?We should go inside. It's getting a little bit crowded here.'

' Good idea.' , Haley supported his suggestion ans pushed everyone inside.

While everyone went to the living room he could feel four gazes at his back.

A little bit later everyone sat at the big living room table, talking lightly and laughing.

Brooke and Peyton told their friends about their life in the past few years. Brooke told them about her company and how it was working with her long-absent mother.

Lucas knew that it had to be hard for Brooke to let Victoria, Brooke' mum, in after being abandoned for so long. He recognised by Brooke calling her mother by her name instead of mum that their relationship had not really changed. She talked about her like a partner, not like you usually talked about your parent. He could also see how happy she was about being back in Tree Hill with her friends. It was almost as if she had not been away for years but for weeks. It was like everything turned out the way it was supposed to.

On the contrary there was Peyton. He was curious about her life. He wanted to know what she had been doing in the last three years he had not seen her. He took from her story that she had been mostly working. Yet she sounded sad, almost frustrated. So she had clearly not being happy. He tried to figure out whether she had been seeing anyone but she didn't mention anything about dating, not even some new friends. Every time someone asked her about her personal life in LA she said that she had been way to busy. She sounded defensive and her glance wandered to him. Lindsay watched their interaction anxiously.

' What are your plans then?', Haley asked eyeing Peyton sympathetically.

' I don't know. I am just happy to be back. ', Peyton declared.

' Why don't you start a own label?' , Brooke tossed a smile at her best friend.

' What? Are you crazy Brooke? I just quit my job as assistant to the assistant. What makes you think I could do that?', Peyton answered startled.

' Because you can. Peyton, you published a benefit CD before you graduated and you managed Tric, convinced bands like Fall Out Boy to play. You can do it, believe me. If you can't do it no one can. Oh and don't worry about the money. I believe in you and I will be your investor.', Brooke stated.

Peyton turned her head questioningly towards Lucas. He saw that she wanted to know whether he agreed with Brooke.

Without thinking about it he smiled reassuringly and Peyton took in a deep breath.

' I will think about it. I am not saying I am going to do it. I will think about it so you can stop trying to convince me Brooke.' , she said and Brooke hugged her happily.

Lindsay tried to meet Haley's gaze. She looked worried and Lucas realised that ever since Peyton arrived all he had been thinking about was her and he had not even thought about Lindsay' s feelings. Now that he realised she had a worried expression on her face and searching for reassurance.

He also noticed that Haley had been watching him. She had that what-is-going-on-in-my-best-friends-mind look. She saw Lindsay's searching gaze and gave her a compassionate smile.

Lucas let his watch wander around the room and realised that it was already three o'clock. He remembered that he had to meet Skills in 10 minutes at the gym to prepare the next training session.

' Hey guys I have to go. I have to plan the training for tomorrow with Skills. I have to hurry or I will be late.' he said and added quickly, ' It was great seeing you again. '

Lindsay jumped up from her seat and said:

' I will come with you. I have to call my boss anyway.'

Lindsay looked around and eyed Peyton more than the others. Luke tried to tell he had to hurry by pointing at his watch. She took his hand and they walked towards the door.

He turned around and winked to say goodbye.

Peyton meet his glance and smiled at him with sparkling eyes. He could see that she was considering her own label by the fire he saw there. But there was also doubt whether she could manage this responsibility. He knew that she just had to see that someone believed in her and he would figure out a way to do that.

--0--

Lucas sat in his bedroom thinking about how he could help Peyton decide whether or not to open her own label. He knew she could do it and Brooke would be her investor. So what was holding her back? OK she had only her references from the job she just quitted. Maybe this was what was worrying her. She probably did not make a good impression on paper for someone who planned independence. She needed an office. Somewhere to start. Where was a free office available?

Just then he got a idea. He dialled his mother' s number. She picked up after in about a minute.

' Hey mum, where is my world travelling mother and sister? Last time you were in Greece.' , he said sheepishly.

' We are in Italy. Rome is fantastic. We have seen the Colosseo, the Spanish Steps, San Pietro, Piazza Navona and a lot more. I think we have to be here for a moth to see everything. There is still so much we want to visit. Lily and Andy say hi.'

' Sounds great. Listen can I ask you a favour? ', he asked casually.

' Sure you can ask anything. Are you in trouble Luke? You sound like something is bothering you. ' she answered with a worried edge to her voice.

' Everything is fine. I wanted to ask you if you have any plans for the space next to Tric.', he asked.

' No I don't have any plans. Why?' ,she asked suspiciously.

' Well Peyton is back in town and she is considering opening her own label. I know she wants to and if she has an office space she has no reason not to do it since Brooke agreed to invest in her label. I was thinking she could use the room next to Tric since its empty for years.', he explained.

' Sure she can use it. She can have it rent-free. I am sure Peyton will do great. How come she is back in Tree Hill?', Karen sounded surprised , 'Wait is Brooke not in NY? I am confused.'

'Apparently they both were unhappy and missed Tree Hill so they returned. I meet them at Haley's and the subject came up naturally. Thanks mum. I will tell her. ', he said relieved.

' Sure no problem. Call me if you need anything.' she said and hung up.

Great so this was done. He just had to tell Peyton. He was happy that she would be around. He did not want her to feel out of place. He wanted her to be happy and he knew her own label would enable her to fulfil her dream. She had not made it in LA but now she had had the possibility to do so.

--0--

Lucas was leaning against a table at Tric. He was tipping his foot up and down. Peyton had to arrive any minute now. He could not wait to tell her the news. He was sure that Peyton would have no reason not to reject Brooke' s idea any more once she knew she had an office.

He had called her to come and meet him at Tric and after hesitating at first she had agreed to meet him there. He couldn't wait to see Peyton' s face.

He heard footsteps behind him and turned his head towards the door. Peyton was walking slowly in his direction. The moment she saw him her face lit up clearly. He could see he gorgeous smile even from the distance.

When she was close to him he stood up and greeted her with a smile. She smiled back and his mood just got better by the sight of her.

' So why did you want me to come here? I mean it's nice to be here, no question but this place is completely empty.' , she said smirking.

' For now it might be empty. This is why I called you. Look here.' , he said and opened the room to the space behind the heavy door.

' Yeah. And? What is there? All I see is a lot of old stuff.' , she frowned.

' I thought this could be your office space for your new label.' he saw that she was about to complain and added, ' I already talked to my mum and she said you can have it rent-free. And since Brooke agreed to be your investor I don't think you have any reason to say no.'

He saw that she was touched and encouraged but also that there was still doubt in her eyes. She looked down, thought for a moment and looked up again.

' I can't except this. I mean I just quit my job and I am supposed to start my own label. I don't know if I can do that. What if I mess up? I can't guarantee Brooke or your mum that it will go well and I don't want to disappoint them.' she murmured doubtful.

What? She still is not happy? He did not understand. How can she doubt herself so much? These guys in LA had no idea what a talent Peyton was and now she was withdrawing a chance to do what she had always wanted? Hell he would do anything to have that chance!He could not write his second while everyone was bugging him to write again. Nathan would give anything if he could walk again. And she had the possibility of her dream coming true and did not take the chance? Was she planning to leave again? No this was just not fair. She had just got back. He could not let her go.

' You know what I don't get it. I thought that it what you wanted. Publish music that actually means something to someone. Jeez, you have been talking about it all your life and now that you have that chance you are not taking it? You know Nathan would do anything if he had the chance to play again. I would do anything to write my second book but I can't. You can and you are still saying no? Why? Do you think it does not matter? You are wrong it does. You can reach people through your music. I know you can. Your music can touch people. It touched my heart. When I was sad you always knew a song that made me feel less alone. You always knew how to cheer me up. I wish I could do the same with my writing.' , he shouted and took a deep breath.

He did not understand her. He just could not believe it. All this frustration came out in one long speech and he could not stop until he had said everything.

He looked up and saw that she was staring at him, shocked. He could see that his words had reached her. He could see that she was believing in her ability, in her strength. He saw that fire in her eyes. He could see the old Peyton at this moment. The Peyton that was not afraid to do what was important to her, the Peyton that was ready to fight.

He also saw the gratitude in her eyes.

' Thanks, Luke. That was just what I needed. You really know me. I think I will try it. I will open my own label. I still don't know if it will work but I promise I will try. So you can stop convincing me you already did. And there is something I need to tell you.

Do you remember when you took my sketches over to thud magazine? I didn't thought that my art mattered to anyone and you proved me wrong. And do you remember when you first joined the ravens. Do you remember what you told me when you entered the gym the first time?' , she asked.

What a question? How could he ever forget that night. He had started as a Raven and if not just for that he would still remember because he had seen that sparkle in Peyton' s green eyes for the very first time. He had had doubts whether he should play but Peyton' s drawing had mirrored his feelings and he had known that he was not the only one who felt like he did not belong there. He had wanted her to know and so he quoted the sentence from that night.

' Your art matters. It's what got me here.'

He saw Peyton nodding and she continued:

' Yeah. It's like you touched my soul. I was ready to quit again. Quit chasing my dreams what I really wanted. But you saved me with the words you wrote about me in your novel. So if you' re struggling to write the next one, you should know that your art matters, Luke. It's what got me here.' she said in a half broken voice and by that he knew she meant it.

She was coming back because of his words about her?Really? He could not believe it. So she had given up her life in LA because of his words. His words dedicated to her. He did not know what to do or think any more. All these years he had thought that she did not really cared for him. All those years he had given up his hopes to see her again. And now she was there. She was not only here, in Tree Hill, she was back for good. She wanted to do change something. Chase her dreams she had almost burrowed and his words had made her dug them out again.

When he was back at his house he walked to his bed. His head was filled with memories, Peyton' s words and something else. Inspiration. He felt a sudden urge to go to his laptop.

He started his laptop and waited impatiently to open a new document. His fingers blew over the keyboard and the more word he wrote pictures of a story appeared and manifested. He knew that this was good. He knew that he would not erase these pages. It felt good to write again. The words flooded over the display. He had not felt that inspired since... since his first novel for goods sake.

**AN: So what do you think? This chapter got so long. LOL. I don't know if it worked. I usually do not write so long chapters. What do you think?**

**I tried to write some more dialogues. I have no idea if it worked so tell me. Please R&R.**


	5. All This Time

**AN:Sorry, sorry, sorry. I did not update in months. I hope there are still some people reading my story. If you do please review and be ready. I will try to update more often.**

**I have been very busy with school and I kind of had a writers block. I had several ideas to start with but then there was the lack of time and I did not have the chance to write them down. I just got the new album from One Republic and the song 'All this time' inspired me so I continued writing finally. I hope you accept my apology. I am really sorry for not updating earlier.**

** Luknpeyton4ever: I am not saying much about what is about to come but this chapter gives you a hint considering the length of Lindsay's appearance in my story. I do intend to keep her around for a while as long as it fits for the plot.**

** OTHGirl24: I am glad you enjoyed it so far. Thanks for your review.**

** Love is The Cure 19: Well I brought in your suggestion (the spark between them). Read the chapter and you will see it. The kiss at Tric had not happened yet, but maybe I will include it, too. That depends on how the plot develops. **

** RJMoonspell4: Thanks for your review. I know mixing dialogs and thought can be confusing. It's just that most of my content deals with their thoughts and feelings. I used other quotation marks to make it more obvious this time. **

** lalez: Thanks for being my beta. You really help me a lot. **

**Merry Christmas and a happy new year. **

**So I will stop here now. Enjoy this chapter. Please R&R. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or any of its characters. It all belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.**

**All this time**

_by One Republic_

Peyton

Peyton was driving in her Comet. The wind blew the hair out of her face. She had put on a Mix-CD.

The sound of the music was great and surrounded her.

She passed the river-court. Except for a couple of teenagers that were on their way onto the court. The group, consisting out of seven people was chatting and laughing. There were two boys, blond tall one and a smaller brunette, in the front. They were playing ball, dribbling and passing the ball to each other followed by two other guys, a small one with light brown hair and a dark skinned one. A little bit behind them were three girls. One of them had curly blond, hair and next to her were two brunettes. They had arms crossed.

They reminded her of herself and her friends when she was in high-school. They all looked like they were having a lot of fun, just hanging out together. Peyton saw that they were all close and these kids certainly still believed nothing could tear them apart. That they would stay friends forever.

If it could just be that easy. She wished she could go back there when everything was simple, well at least not so complicated. Before graduation she knew exactly what her life was like and how it would go on. Now she was not so sure anymore.

--0--

She arrived at Tric, the location for her new office space. She had opened her own record label now. She still could not believe it. She had always dreamed about this and now her dream was coming true.

The package in her hand contained records of artists she admired. She also dreamed about producing their next records. They represented her musical spectrum which spans from: The Cure over Nada Surf to Haley James and Kayne. On her wall also should find a place the Friends with Benefits album she had recorded with Ellie, also filled with great artists and friends.

All those musicians made music that mattered and that touched people's souls and changed their life's. This was her intention, the reason why music was so important to her; it had changed her life and had helped her through tough times.

Lucas had made her realize this. He had arranged that she could get this office rent free. This was amazing. But most importantly he had reminded her why this risk was worth it.

Music could make a difference . Music had helped her through some tough situations when she did not know how to handle them. Sometimes she was so twisted she did not even know what to think anymore. That's where music helped her. It made her feel less alone, understood. And then she would know what to do next.

He had made her believe in music again, believe in her own strength again. It's just the way Lucas made her feel like: confident, safe, comfortable and strong; Strong enough to fight for what she believed in, especially when it was difficult to achieve.

One the other hand she felt so dependent on what he thought about her it made her stumble over her words whenever she was confronted directly with him. He was her weak spot and everyone knew that. She wished it was not like that but she could not deny it.

She sat down at her desk and suddenly her telephone rang:

"Red Bedroom records, this is Peyton Sawyer what can I do for you?"

"Hey P. Sawyer. This is your best friend calling. I need help. My store is opening in less than 24 hours and I have not even painted the walls yet, there are no clothes , no decoration, nothing. Nothing is ready. This is an emergency. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

Brooke sounded really desperate and how could she ever say no to her best friend? There was nothing for her to do here anyway.

"Sure. I will be there in 20. Don't worry everything will be ready by tomorrow", she reassured her.

"You are an angel, you know that? See you in 20 minutes." Peyton could hear Brooke sign relieved and hung up.

--0--

20 minutes later Peyton arrived at Brooke' s new store. She read 'Clos over bros' at the entrance.

This place used to be like a second home to her. It was where Karen' s Cafe used to be. She had so many pleasant memories here. During High-school she had spent many afternoons and evenings at this place with her friends. And now it looks like she would be here more often again.

"Some things never change." she thought smiling to herself.

She was standing at the front door and saw that the store was already full of people. She saw several

handyman, maybe five who were working on the light at the ceiling and the left side. Two of them were building up some closets.

Skills, Mouth, Junk and Fergie were painting the right wall. Obviously they had already painted the left wall purple. She could not spot Nathan anywhere but Haley and a big brunette with glasses, who she assumed to be Millie, Brooke's assistant, carried boxes from the back room which surely contained the collection and decoration. And then she saw him. Lucas was behind the counter installing a light below a shelf of a white closet. He had his back turned so she could not see his face. He wore a light blue jeans and a cream-colored t-shirt. Peyton stood there for a moment hesitant about what to do.

OK she had expected him to be here, too. But even if their relationship seemed a little bit better now than after her arrival she still had no idea if it was permanent. She knew she had hurt him deeply by not accepting his proposal and even if she had regretted this decision ever since this fateful day she did not know what Lucas thought about it now.

He tended to hide his feelings and he was not a person who got over something like that easily.

She knew that he was with Lindsay now and he seemed happy. She did not know her but Luke would not be with her if she was not a great person.

Brooke approaching from another room at the left side broke her string of thoughts abruptly as she saw Peyton standing a few steps away from the entrance. She quickened her pace and she was in front of Peyton in a few seconds. Peyton gave her a wide grin and hugged her. Brooke wore a knee-long red dress and had her hair in a ponytail. Her glorious smile lightened up Peyton's mood immediately.

"So what do you want me to do? I see everyone is busy around here. I don't want to stand here and do nothing.", Peyton said.

Brooke looked around the room, considering the possibilities. She frowned for a moment and it looked like she got an idea. She had that impish grin. Peyton knew that grin. It showed up when she had some plan. And this grin indicated that there was something in her mind she would not tell her.

"Well Skills and the guys seem good and Haley and Millie are, too. Maybe you can help Luke over there. I need the counter as soon as possible to arrange my stuff and four hands get more done than two, right?", she said, trying to hide her impish grin but she could still see it.

This was it. She wanted to see Peyton and Lucas working together to see how their status was. She should have known. She had already assumed that the others have been here for a while. The effort it took to get all of this done proved her point. So Brooke waited until everyone had their task and the only thing left for her to do was to support her ex-boyfriend. She had tried to hide her feelings toward him, but Brooke knew her better than that. She knew Peyton better than she knew herself. It was almost frightening. She could not hide anything.

Well discussing Brooke's suggestion was futile. Once Brooke set up her mind there was no changing it. So she had to go there. Go over there to confront her insecurities. It was inevitable so she could as well do it now.

She took a deep breath and walked over, around the corner until she was standing directly behind the blond. She could feel Brooke's gaze behind her so she tried to sound confident.

"Hey Luke, Brooke asked me to help you here so her desk is ready soon. She thought you might need some help.", she said, trying to really sound indifferent.

Lucas turned his head and looked at me. His expression changed. At first it was surprised, then calculating and at last it turned to delighted. I could still see hesitance in his eyes but the delight overshadowed it.

"Good timing. I could indeed need some help. Besides I was the only one working alone here and I was wondering if this was some kind of punishment. Not that I mind but everyone has a partner and it gets kind of boring after some time.", he said shrugging his shoulders.

Peyton could not help but smile at his comment. He was still the same relaxed yet perceptive guy. So he had recognized it, too. Everyone was working in teams but him. She wondered if he had assumed Brooke's set-up plan ,too. She prayed he didn't. In any case she wanted him to know she had not been aware of her task.

"Well maybe Brooke just had realized this. Just after my arrival she send me here. Plus she was in some back room and hadn't had an overview. Anyway now we are working together. What can I do to help?", she asked.

He answered after what seemed only a few seconds.

"I was going to install this tube lamp. You could hold the other end while I screw this one in.", he suggested.

She nodded and went to kneel beside him. He handed her the lamp and she held it level while he put it in the already installed device on both sideboards. When one side was done they continued like this until they reached the last shelf. The top of the closet was to high for them to reach it even on their tiptoes which would have made it difficult any way or another.

So Lucas went to get a two-sided ladder. Peyton took two steps on the left side and Lucas did the same on the right side. They rested the tube lamb on the shelf underneath and installed the device supposed to hold the lamp. When that was done they went to pick up the lamp itself and balanced it before leading it in. At first Lucas did and then Peyton already had it almost done when she heard Brooke yell loudly: "Stop!"

Everything happened in a few seconds. Peyton turned around to look at Brooke and find out what made her yell like that. She had automatically turned her foot, which balanced her on the ladder, and her head so that she was stumbling now to hold herself and avoid falling. That was when she felt two soft but strong hands wrap themselves around her waist and at the same time she heard a loud crack and several people gasping for air.

She realized that she had had her eyes closed to not see herself falling down and those strong arms wrapped around her felt oddly comfortable. She smelled a familiar scent. The person, it was a guy she recognized smelled like old leather, gum and wood. She could stay like this forever when she heard a soft, male voice ask: "Peyton are you OK? Peyton? Answer me!"

It was that that she realized what had happened. She had lost her balance on the ladder. Luke saw that and he had instinctively caught her. The loud crack had been the lamp Lucas had let go of in order to catch her.

She opened her eyes and looked into Luke's beautiful blue eyes. His face was just inches from hers. She could not turn away. It almost felt like it used to be. She was in his arms, only involuntary, and he was so close to her like he had not been since they had fallen asleep in this hotel room in LA three years ago.

She noticed everyone starring at them and blushed. She tried to push herself from his chest, softly but he held on to her firmly.

"Luke let me go.", she begged.

"Not until you put your right foot back on the step. Otherwise you are going to fall and I am not going to let that happen.", he stated.

It was then that she felt her right foot hanging loose in the air and her left foot was on the step only inches from thin air, too. She transferred her weigh and looked up at Luke who was still holding her tight.

"Better now?" , she asked hopefully that his answer was yes. But her subconscious told her that she should have just stayed unstable there so she could stay in his arms for a little while longer.

He looked down at her foots and after surveying them he nodded. He slowly let go of her and when he was sure she could stand on her own he let go of her completely.

She got off the ladder. Back on the ground she saw that everyone was standing in a circle around them. She saw Brooke, Haley, Skills, Mouth, Fergie, Millie, the workmen, and...Lindsay.

She glared at her furiously and looked back and forth between Peyton and Lucas. Lucas tried to look indifferent and soothing at the same time.

How much had she seen? Peyton did not know what to say. She tried to hide her grin. Lucas was not with her anymore. He was with Lindsay now. She had to remind herself of that over and over again.

Yet she could not get rid of his intense, attached gaze at her when he had had his arms around her. She could not forget the comfortable feelings she had felt that moment. It was like she was finally whole again. After so much time she had found what she was looking for: Lucas.

She turned to everyone and said so that everyone could hear:

"I am fine, really. You can go back to work now."

The workman sighed relieved and turned to continue on their assigned task. Junk and Fergie turned, too. They pulled Skills and Mouth with them, who were resistant, but gave in. They nodded towards Lucas. He nodded back.

Brooke and Haley looked curious at Lucas and Peyton and Lindsay looked like she was trying to make sense of what she had just seen. All the while she seemed furious.

"Peyton what happened? I just heard a loud noise like something bursting into pieces and then Lucas holding you as if you could fall any second.", Haley asked concerned looking questioningly at Peyton and Lucas.

"I got distracted and lost my balance but Lucas caught me just in time.", Peyton said in a low voice and turned her head to Lucas, who nodded.

"What got you so distracted?", Brooke asked.

"You! You yelled 'Stop!' so loud it made my ears hurt so I turned around to see the reason for it.", Peyton explained and added, "Why? Now that I am save on the ground you, could you tell me?"

"I wanted to save this." , Brooke said and pointed at a piece of a wall broken out.

Peyton eyed it and saw that it was the quote that once belonged to Karen's Cafe:

'Somebody told me that this is the place where everything' s better and everything' s safe.'

**AN: So this is it. What do you think? I wrote more detailed than in the previous chapters, as you might have recognized. I just read a lot of Twilight and Twilight- fan fiction lately so this influenced my writing. Should I continue like this or stick to my writing of the previous chapters? Please R&R.**

**New Moon is in the Cinema, finally. I look forward to see it. Maybe it is better than the first movie. I am currently listening to the audio book of New Moon. BTW how do you like the movie(s)? I prefer th books. A movie based on a book can simply never reach up to the book. That's my opinion. What do you think? Can the movie compete with the book?**

**TrueLoveAlwaysLP**


	6. AN Update

OK I am sorry for not updating for 4 months. I have been busy with school. We had finals and I just couldn't find enough time to write. I know this is no real excuse but I want to write good chapters and that takes its time.

I got some new Story Alert/Favourite and I would really like to read about your thoughts on htis story. I mean if you add it to favourite you like my story right? So please tell me what you like and what you think should happen next.

Now that finals are finally over I will work on this story again and reviews always motivate me.

Sorry again for the long waiting. I will hopefully update this or next week.

TrueLoveAlways


	7. Droplets

**AN: Thanks for your patience. The new chapter is finally up. I hope it was worth the wait.**

**I intended this chapter to be longer but in order to update earlier I separated in in two parts so the next chapter will also be from Lucas POV.**

**Thanks to all the people who added my story to story alert or even favorite. Maybe I get reviews of those readers,too(hope,hope).**

**LPfan4ever: Thanks! I will continue writing like this. Your opinion means a lot. I love your LP-stories.**

**OTHGirl24: Thanks for your support. I am waiting for your new review;-)**

**thebonron: Thanks for your review.**

**A special thanks goes to my beta lalez. You are great.**

**Now enjoy this chapter and please review. Reviews make my day and motivate me. They show me that you like my story and I want to know how I am doing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or any of its characters. It all belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.**

**Droplets**

_by Colbie Caillat ft Jason Reeves_

Lucas

Turning to his left he noticed that the spot beside him was empty and cold already. A glance to his right showed him that it was 8 am.

"Is it that late already?" he thought to himself wondering. Lindsay would of course be awake by now. She was usually up at the crack of dawn even on the weekends. His morning routine included a run before breakfast and because he didn't want to eat sweaty a shower so he was in a habit of getting up earlier than this,too.

It was just then that he realized something was missing. He did not smell bacon and eggs from the kitchen. Where was Lindsay?

He got up, leaning on his elbows and saw Lindsay sitting at his desk. She was intently starring at the laptop-display. He studied her face to read her expression noticing surprise, joy and incredulity in her features. OK it had been a long time since he had written and not pressed the delay button constantly afterwards but why did she had this expression? She seemed anxious, almost superstitious.

He had seen this expression before.

It had been at the beginning of their relationship. They had just started dating and he had seen the insecurity in her eyes whenever they got closer. She had always doubted whether he was over Peyton. He had told her several times but somehow he couldn't seem to convince her.

Especially when they were talking about his novel. They had worked on his very personal script so she got to know him very well.

This was an advantage after a while because it made working with her easy. She knew which subjects were sensitive. Now it was not so much of an advantage, not really. It's not really good if your partner mistrust you. They kept working on it but in moments like this he could see a hint of the Is-he-really-over-Peyton-doubt in her eyes.

Then he saw her lips tugging into a small smile and she looked up from the screen with a satisfied smile on her face. Then she noticed that he was awake and she looked directly in his eyes. He saw pride and relieve.

"So Lucas, I am curious. This stuff", she pointed at the screen," Is really good, in fact I can see a new novel. What ended your writers' block?", she said a smug expression in her eyes while she surveyed his face.

Lucas let out a sigh of relief, which he tried to hide with a yawn when he saw her smile. She thought it was good, that was good but he couldn't forget that suspicious expression she had had just moments before.

It were these tiny little hints if doubt that made him wondering if they would ever get over the Peyton-issue. It seemed to follow him everywhere. Just the fact that he started writing again after his ex-girlfriends' return had to cause her suspicions again.

He held his expression composed. He didn't want to admit that it had something to do with them. While they were gone he felt like something was missing. He had tried to remember what had made him write this and they were a huge part of it. They had made him who he was and throughout their return he had been faced with his and his friends' dreams. A few of them had come true, others didn't. This was what his new novel was about.

What makes you go on with your life? Family? Friends? Lovers? Work?What is your dream? And even if you got your dream is it enough?And the odds are against it will you continue chasing it or give up?

He was ready to admit that but not to what extent. He was still trying to figure out his confused feelings since their return. But it surely would not do any good discussing them with his girlfriend.

He saw her impatiently staring at him waiting for an answer.

"I don't know", he answered honestly." It's just now that everyone is back and I see how our lives turned out to be I wonder about what we made of our lives, whether our dreams came true and this is what my novel is about. The choices we make and how it effects us."

He saw that he frowned after he said 'everyone' , expecting him to avoid this topic and then she confirmed hi suspicion by asking:

"This doesn't have by chance to do with the return of your two beautiful ex-girlfriends?"

"No, yes. I mean they are a part of my life and they always will be and you know that. But you are a part of my life, too. Without you I wouldn't know what it feels like to live your dream. You had faith in ' An Unkindness of Ravens' when no one else had. And I see Nathan who's dream has been shattered and Haley trying to support and...I think about thinks. You know me. "

A smile tugged around her lips and he stood up, walked over to him to kiss him gently. Then his stomach growled and they started to laugh.

"I will go make breakfast and you go take a shower. You stink." , she says winking and leaving towards the kitchen.

He let himself fall back on the bed and sighed relieved.

--0--

A little while later Lucas was walking back home after practice. He could have taken the car but he needed time to think. There was so much going on that he had to figure out, better sooner than later.

Haley had stopped by at practice and even thought she did not intend to mention the incident at the store he was certain that she meant to talk to him about it but decided against it. He could feel her gaze at him the whole time during lunch. She asked him about his writing so he assumed she had told her.

He told Haley the same as he had told Lindsay. But he knew that there was more to it and the more he tried to convince himself that it had nothing to do with her the more he asked himself if that was really true.

He had been aware of Nathan's situation for a while now and since Peyton's and Brooke's return all those memories and emotions came crashing back on him. He had been aware of them, they would always be important to him, but he had focused on the present and tried not to think about the past so much. But now he could not help himself but wonder what goals in life are realistic and which weren't. Life after high-school was different and the same at the same time. All five of them reunited and finding himself in very similar situations awoke that feeling inside of him.

He heard water running and realized that he was at the river-court. He had subconsciously went here. He shook his head disbelievingly and went to the bench.

After a while he pulled out his I-pod and chose shuffle. The first song he heard was 'If we cannot see' by Devics.

He was persistent on jumping to the next song but something stopped himself. It was as if the song was trying to tell him something. He remembered how Peyton used to say "When I felt like I was all alone and there was no one who understood me there was this song playing that said it all. Everything I wanted to say and suddenly I did not feel so alone anymore."

Now he knew what she meant. He had never quit understood it completely. While listening to it a realization was about to sink in but then he saw a tall, gorgeous blond walking toward him. It took his breath away.

_you were born with a heart that can never be filled  
and a head like snow that can never be still  
there are streets paved in gold that shine so bright  
that you force yourself to look away_

if we can't see now, we might never see  
we only kill ourselves more slowly  
if you can't find love, then you will finally see  
how we kill ourselves slowly

the words that fall from your mouth  
they crystallize and break on the ground  
and everything you want, you can't have  
but you force yourself to look away

He remembered her body pressed against his, her curls next to his cheeks and her sweet scent. It was was like he was back at the store the day before with her clinging closely to him like her life depended on it and he did not not do anything but hold her closer. He had been so afraid that she could fall and get hurt so he held her tight until he was absolutely sure she was safe. But having her so close had reawakened something inside of him he could not quite define. This undefined feeling washed over him again filling every inch of his body.

_if we can't see now  
we might never see  
we only kill ourselves more slowly  
if you can't find love, then you will finally see  
how we kill ourselves more slowly_

if you can't find me then you can't find love  
if you close your eyes then will finally see  
that you're already here with me

She smiled at him and his heartbeat sped up then she opened her lips and he heard her say.

"Hi Luke. Are you ok? Your mobile is ringing for several minutes.",she said smirking.

"Don't you want to pick up? Maybe it's important."

"Em...Yeah sure. I guess I was kind of distracted.", he stuttered.

He looked at the display and saw Lindsay's name on the display.

**AN: So what do you think? Next is the Clos over Bros opening. It will be from Lucas POV,too.**


	8. Moments Like This

**AN: Sorry for the late update (again). I had so many stuff to do with graduation and now I have been, and still am, abroad in Asia. Working, riding on elephants stuff like that. It was fantastic but you see I had other stuff on my mind. I will be back in Germany the next week though but I am not sure when I will be working again on the next chapter. I hope soon but I can't promise you anything.**

**I hope there are still some people reading my story. I need your reviews to see how I am doing. So please review. Every time after I posted a new chapter I am checking my emails frankly to see if I got a review, a story alert anything that tells me you are still reading my story. It makes me so happy. So, again, please review whether it's good or back. I need you feedback guys.**

**RJMoonspell4: I am glad you liked it and I look forward to see what you think about this new chapter. Please let me know.**

**Kylielink, HighQueenDofNarnia: Thanks for the review. Maybe I get another review(*hint, hint*)**

**lukepeyton4ever: Thank you and let me know your opinion after reading this chapter.**

**MyAimIsTrue: Thanks a lot. Nobody paid attention to the songs yet, or as far as I know, they did not. This means a lot since these songs keep me inspired.**

**OTHGirl24: So what do you think about this development? Let me know as usual;-)**

**IcyGold: Well how did I do capturing Lucas inner struggle here? Good or bad? Tell me so I can get better. Reviews like yours always encourage me. So keep on letting me know.**

**A special thanks goes to lalez my beta-reader who helps me even when she is busy, very busy. Thanks a lot!**

**So enjoy this chapter. And as usual give me some feedback, preferably some mentioning of the plot. I hope you like it.**

Moments like this

_by Reamonn_

Lucas

Lucas stared blankly at his display and shook his head. It was as if he had been in a trance.

What had just happened?He was with Lindsay for good' s sake! He had just told her that nothing was going on between him and Peyton and here he was thinking who knows what contrary to that.

He was confused. He needed to clear his head. He heard his phone still ringing and Peyton watched him concerned, her head was leaned sideways.. He looked undecided from Peyton to his phone and tried to compose his face.

He led the phone to his ear and pushed the answer button while being very aware of Peyton surveying him.

"Hi Luke. Is everything alright. It took you quite some time to pick up.", Lindsay said, concern obvious in her voice.

He shot glance at Peyton, hoping she didn't recognize it, and tried to sound calm.

"Everything is fine. I was just listening to some music and didn't heard my phone.", he answered.

He heard her sigh and he was relieved that she didn't seem to notice the irritation in his voice.

"Well I just called to tell you that I have to go to NY. My bosses are getting impatient but I am sure they will be happy to hear that you are back on track. So I am confident that I will be back soon. I just won't be able to go to Brooke's store opening, though.", she explained.

"I am sure she will understand that. Don't worry. When are you leaving?", he asked.

"My flight goes in an hour and the taxi should be here soon. I guess in 10 minutes.", she said after a moment of thinking.

Lucas shifted uneasy where he sat. So he would have more time to deal with this numb feeling in his stomach without her being here. Maybe it was good that he wouldn't see Lindsay for a few days. This gave him more time to figure out what to do.

"I probably won't be back home in time. Could you give me a call when you have landed?"

"Sure. I will tell them about your new novel and this should lift some pressure of your shoulders. I believe in you. This is gonna be a great book.", she reassured him.

He felt confidence return and he was remembered why he loved Lindsay. She was the first one to believe in him and his novel and she proofed this again. She would never give up upon him no matter how strong her doubts were.

"Thanks. Talk to you later.", he finished and looked sideways at Peyton.

She didn't say something but he knew she wanted to know what it was about. He could see the curiosity in her emerald green eyes.

"Lindsay has to go back to NY so she cannot be at the store opening.", he summarized their conversation.

He saw something flicker in her eyes. Was is hope? No why should it be. They weren't together anymore. So why was this strange feeling returning?

"Oh", she said, "Then who are you going with? I would ask you to go. I mean as friends. I don't want this to be awkward or something."

He was happy about this proposition of hers even when it hurt a little when she said 'friends'. But on the other hand that is what they were, right. Just friends. And as friends they could go to another friend 's party together. Completely normal. Nothing awkward.

She sensed his hesitation and added:

"It's fine if you don't want to. I wont blame you if you say no. I just thought it could be like old times you know."

'Old times'. He smiled at her response and nodded. She obviously thought this was a no because her shoulders slumped and was about to turn around when he spoke up.

"You got me wrong. Of course we can go together. Just like old times", he said smirking and he saw her lighten up immediately. Her smile was even visible in her eyes. Something he had not seen in a long time. It warmed his heart to see her happy.

"When does the opening start?", he asked even though he already knew it. He just wanted to hear her say it.

"8 pm.",she answered.

"Let's say I pick you up at 7.30 pm.", he suggested.

"OK I will be ready.", she said still smiling.

"I gotta go home. Could you give me a ride?"

"Sure my comet is right over there. Didn't you got here by car?", she asked wondering.

"No I needed some fresh air so I walked.", he told her while walking beside her.

They chatted the rest of the walk to the car and the whole ride until she dropped him off and drove home.

-0-

Lucas was walking up and down his room nervously. The clock showed 6.50 pm. He wore a blue shirt and black pants. He stood still for a second staring at his phone lying on his bed.

Lindsay has called 10 minutes ago. She landed in New York and excused herself again for having to leave on such short notice. He could hear regret in her voice and he reassured her that it was fine, again.

If he was honest to himself he was glad that she would not be here. Ever since hearing that song he had that numb feeling in his stomach that was somehow connected to Peyton. He couldn't think straight right after it had started but after talking to her and it got better. This feeling was still there but it was as if it ebbed up. More even, he felt kind of light-headed.

He had not felt this way since...since high-school. It felt like a lifetime ago. What had happened that he had lost it? Sure it had not been easy then and it surely was not easy now but... He had his friends and the security that they would always be there. After graduation he had not keep in touch with all of them. Nathan, Haley and Jamie were his family and Brooke and Peyton? They had gone off to pursue their dreams. Somewhere he had lost them. Peyton rejecting his proposal had hurt so much. She had shown him that she didn't love him as much as he loved her and all of his hopes had been shattered. After this devastating night in LA a part of him had been lost.

But they were back and he had regained faith over the last few days that she would stay. It was another Peyton. She had changed just like everyone else, including himself.

It would never be like it was before but at least they could be friends again. It was better than not having her in his life at all. He felt incomplete. And he had a feeling like things would get better now that everyone was back home, in Tree Hill.

He turned his head left and saw that it was already 7.10 pm.

He went up and rushed to the door, grabbing his keys on the way and starting his car.

-0-

Lucas pulled up in front of Brooke's new house. It looked welcoming. He had not been in there yet but he knew Brooke never would have chosen it for her and Peyton if it wasn't.

He checked his watch. It was 7.25. He had almost driven in the wrong direction. He had automatically drove towards Peyton' s old house when he remembered that they lived at another part of town now. So he had to turn around but he made it in time.

He pulled the key out of the ignition and got out of the car. He walked to her front door and when he was about to knock on the door it opened and Peyton stood there.

She wore a short dress in a dark green color that hugged her thin figure and had a deep, yet small neckline. It emphasized her bright, emerald green eyes. Her hair was all curly and she did not wore any other accessory. Not that she needed any.

She was so natural yet breathtaking gorgeous. This strange feeling had returned making his stomach all fluttery. He could not stop staring at her and then he realized he had been holding his breath. He took a sharp intake of breath to make his mind and body work again. Or so he hoped.

Peyton looked at him and he could swear he saw a small smile tug around her lips. She noticed his look go up and down until it rested on her face and their eyes met. He saw her eyes sparkle. He held their. It filled him with warmth and he would not want to miss this. It had been long, too long since he had felt like this and he wanted to hold it as long as possible.

Wait! What was he doing? He was held in this trance-like state again where he could not stop looking at her. What was wrong with him? This was Peyton. He knew her. So why was it that he kept staring at her as if he had seen her for the very first time. He was behaving like some love-struck teenager. This was so confusing and weird. This was not him. Not anymore.

He opened his lips and said:

"Hi."

`Hi`? Here he stood in front of a `friend` unable to say anything but `hi`? He was behaving like a total moron but when he looked at Peyton that she felt similar because she said.

"Hi."

Great way to get out of this weird situation. He cleared his throat which made her look up.

"You look nice." She smiled at his compliment a little uncomfortable yet he could see that she was happy about it.

"Yeah, um you don't look so bad yourself.", she said and he shrugged as response out of a lack of words."So...should we go?"

He nodded and they went to his car and drove to Brooke's store.

-0-

When they arrived at Brooke's new store Lucas looked over at Peyton who sat next to him. She looked nervous and as if she felt his gaze she turned her head to him with a small half-smile on her lips. It was not her usual reassuring smile but he could still see her nervousness because she was fidgeting with her hair.

He was about to take her hand in a calming gesture when he slapped himself mentally.

No that would be good. He was already confused enough. It would only make the situation more awkward.

So instead he just asked:

"Are you ready?", she blinked and nodded.

So he got out of the car and he intended to get around it to open her door for her but she was already outside.

They walked the short distance to the store. He found himself sending glazes at her every now and and then even though he tried to keep himself from doing so. He could swear he caught her looking at him, too.

Through the glass windows he could see that most people were already there. He even saw Haley and Nathan. Nathan was walking again. Hesitantly but still. Brooke stood a the bar talking to people he didn't know. Mouth was talking to a pretty brunette with glasses. She was kind of familiar to him but he could not pinpoint who she was.

He looked at Peyton and she turned her to the door which he took as a wink to go inside. He nodded and reached for the door knob. He pulled the door slowly to let her in and followed behind her.

Peyton went over to Brooke Lucas following on her tracks. Brooke spotted then and after sending both of them a surprising look and raising an eyebrow at Peyton, which led to her looking down giving both of them a hug.

"I see you two finally made it. What took you so long?", she asked speculatively eying them as if they were hiding something.

Lucas felt caught. Great so his feeling were written all over his face now? That was just what he needed. All this chaos in his head revealed. He almost sighed when Brooke grinned like this was a game and they had just fallen right into her trap hole.

"Just kidding. I swear you two had so guilty expression on your faces it was as if I had caught you on something I was not supposed to know. Wait is there?", she asked them both this question but looked at Peyton for an answer.

Peyton looked Brooke straight in the eye and said:

"No it was nothing. Luke over here just happened to pick a way with way to many traffic light and also there was some old car driving in front of us that decided to be really slow, like 40 per hour. Can you believe it?" she said in a cocky voice.

"Yeah so it was. Sorry that we are late. But looks like half of Tree Hill showed up."He said feeling like a topic change would be good.

"Yeah it's great, isn't it? I knew coming home would be good and now even Victoria can't say something." , she said with a grim smile on her face.

Her mother's pressure really got to her. He could sympathies with that. Had it not been for Keith raising him it would have been a lot more difficult for him. The thought of Keith made him sad and Peyton seemed to see it because she looked at him tentatively.

"Well I saw Haley and Nathan. I will go over to them.",he said and turned around.

"Hey P. Sawyer I got something for you. Come over here.", he heard Brooke say.

A few minutes later he had found Haley. He walked over and tapped her on her shoulder. Haley turned around and pulled him into a hug. She pulled away and that was when saw Nathan a few feet away chatting with Skills. He nodded in his direction and said:

"He is better, huh? Good to see. It suits him better.", he said.

"Yeah. It has not been easy lately but it's getting better. Nathan is better, Jamie feels it too.

Nathan is playing basketball with him. You know I wish I could bring him to play a guitar but all he wants to do is play basketball. Basketball here, basketball there."

Even though she was complaining he could see her smile. Her body was also a lot more relaxed than the last time he had seen her.

"You seem better, too.", he said.

She looked at him at he could see her brown eyes sparkle.

"Well enough about me. Where is Lindsay? I don't see her anywhere." , she said searching the room.

"Well That's probably because she is not here. She had to go to New York for a few days.", he explained.

"Oh so you came alone?", she asked sending him a questioningly gaze.

"No I came with Peyton and before you ask", he said holding up a hand because he could see that she was about to interrupt him."We are here as friends nothing more. Because that's what we are."

She looked at him with doubtful eyes as she knew exactly that he was not telling her everything but then she looked behind him and something she saw must have confirmed his words because he saw the doubt get less.

He turned around and saw Peyton leaning on the bar. She waling with a tall, dark haired guy. She was leaning back her head and smiled at him. His eyes where all over her body, well except her face.

He wanted to walk over there and pull her away from him. Telling this guy, this bartender, to go to hell and never come back. He was not worth her attention. Why was she smiling a him like that, flirting. This guy didn't deserve it.

Wait what was going on?Why was he so angry? They were not together anymore. Hell, he was with Lindsay. He was happy with Lindsay. So why was this bothering him so much? Peyton could do what she wanted.

But this guy was only staring at her boobs. He bet he didn't listen to a word she said. Well this was going to stop. Now.

He said Haley that he was going to search for Mouth. He was almost sure that she didn't buy his excuse. So he went around, not taking the direct way to the bar to make it less oblivious.

He reached them to stand beside Peyton. She tensed a little but avoided his gaze. So Lucas graped her forearm. She looked up into eyes and he could feel the warmth of her body. She flinched a little back feeling the anger, the tension radiate from him. Yet he could see something else also. It was like she waited for him to lean in closer to close the distance between them. He could feel her pull.

He leaned but his lips brushed her cheeks sending shivers through both of their bodies.

His mouth then was close to her ear. He could feel her curls on his forehead and whispered barely audible, only for her to hear.

"He is not good enough for you."

Her body tensed and could feel her get stiff. When he leaned back he saw confusion in her emerald green eyes. He held her gaze. This tension was just too much.

He had to get away. Just get away. That was all he knew.

Then he leaned back further loosening his grip on her arm and turned around heading to the door.

He was only out the door for for about 10 seconds, or so it felt like when he heard the door go open again and close noisily.

Peyton stood there glaring at him. Her whole body was shaking and her hands were balled into fits.

Also she looked like she was close to tears.

"Really?`He is not good enough for you`? How, Luke? How can you say that? How can you do that to me? That's not fair to me. That's not fair to Lindsay either.", she yelled and sounded like she was starting to cry every second.

He stood there paralyzed. He wanted to go over to her and hug her but as he just took a step in her direction she said in a very low voice, yet he could hear it "No don't."

But every pore of his body told him not to listen to her pleading. He wanted to comfort make her stop crying. He continued to move towards her and when they were only inches apart he pulled her into a hug. At first she tried to pull away from him but when he did not let go of her she stoped fighting it and leaned into him letting her tears fall and cried into his shirt. He dragged her along to a bench a few feet from the store and helped her sit down. She was still crying but her tears got less and less. Her eyes were swollen but at least she had stopped crying.

She looked up a him with her puffy green eyes. All madness and anger had vanished. Instead they held trust and confusion. She blinked a few times to dry her eyes and saw the mess she had made of his shirt.

"I'm sorry.", she said in a broken whisper.

She was apologizing? He was responsible for all of this and she was apologizing? This just felt wrong. He had been behaving like a jerk. What was he thinking telling her `he is not good enough`?

Was he jealous? No that could not be. He was with Lindsay for goods sake.

He shook his head and said with a smug expression on his face, hoping to sound normal and not let too much of his confusion show in his voice.

"It's OK. I didn't like it anyway.", he said, throwing his hand over his shoulder.

She sniffled a laugh and leaned on his shoulder. It felt good to her close to him.

They sat there for a while in silence enjoying each others company.

**So how was it? Good or bad? Did you expect this? It does not follow the show but this is what fanfic is about, right? Please read and review. I can only improve if you give me your feedback.**


	9. AN Update Stories

**Sorry this is not a new chapter, yet.**

**I finished two chapters (one for 'Feelings You Can't Deny(FYCD)' and one for 'Memory Mix Tape')**

**My beta reader is checking them right now. **

**I hope there are still some people willing to read my stories and deal with my not so recent posts. **

**After publishing 'Memory Mix Tape' I did not got much feedback, which is why I did not finish the second chapter and then I got wrapped up in work and life etc. **

**I will publish the new chapters ASAP, I promise. Again, I hope I still have some faithful readers. Please show me you are still following here, may it be reviews(preferably) or alerts or favorites, just something...**

**And I would like to know you think of 'Memory Mix Tape'. I know you mostly wait for 'FYCD' but I would really like to know your opinion. **

**Your TrueLoveAlwaysLP**


	10. Pictures of you

**So here it comes. My new chapter it finally up. I hope you like it.**

**I want to thank everyone who uploaded a review and/or added my story to story alert:**

**RJMoonspell4 & OTHGirl24: Thank you for your review and reassuring me you are still reading. It means a lot to me. **

**EmmaJoie: I am glad you like my story. Tell me what you think of the new chapter please. Thanks for the story alert.**

**Natarma: Thank you for story alert.**

**LukePeyTLA: I am finishing this story, thank you for your support. I have ideas for several new chapters in fact. I know Leyton stories are rare these days. I would really like to hear your opinion. **

**IcyGold: So now this chapter is about how Peyton deals with everything. Please review as usual. I love long reviews. I am that I helped you understand Lucas better. This is how I see his constant denying. **

**Anyway enjoy. Please review. I need your feedback. They make my day. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH and its characters. It belongs to Mark Schwan and the CW.**

Pictures Of You

_By The Last Goodbye_

I Never Told You

_By Colbie Caillat_

Peyton

She was looking at her laptop-screen working on some documents while listening to some of her favorite records. She seemed calm and focused. Inside she was anything but.

How could she be after the recent events? She certainly had not expected her return do go smooth and easy. Too much had happened, she was very aware of this fact, but she had not expected it to be that difficult.

What was Lucas thinking? She could not wrap her head around that no matter how hard she tried, and by god she did. He was everything she ever thought about. At first she had been very careful around him because she knew how deeply her last encounter had hurt him and seeing him again brought all this back, along with the good memories but this did not make it any less painful.

And then he had helped her with her label and things went well – scratch that just better than expected – and she thought they could be around each other. It was inevitable because they had the same friends and they had to learn how to deal with each other.

But then there were these moments. When he had told her that she could open her label and be successful, when he had caught her and hugged her close to him, they had been so close and she had been reminded of their past, and finally the CoB opening and the outcome of it leaving them even more confused than before. This recent encounter was burned in her memory, and even thinking about it made her legs give it, which was why she avoided standing longer than necessary. What did those moments meant? Were they friends again – considering they never really were _just_ friends – and if they were would it stay that way? And what about Lindsay? Lucas seemed happy with her and she wanted him to be but why did it hurt her so much to see them together or even to hear about it?

She looked at her hands and noticed she had stopped tipping and her fingers were hanging loosely over the keypad now. She shook her head. Damn, she had to finish this but she seemed unable to concentrate. How could she when he was on her mind? It was always like that with him. She tried, unsuccessfully, not to get distracted. Well maybe she should take a walk, get some fresh air. It usually helped. She saved the half-finished document and turned her laptop off. She could not concentrate anyway. Why wasting time trying.

She stood up, grabbed jacket and cell and closed the door behind her.

-0-

She was passing the lake in her comet, music turned on loud and the wind blowing her curls in every direction. This was just perfect. She could always clear her thoughts, be free and no one was there to interrupt this safe haven of hers. She leaned her head back rejoicing the moment when the music was disturbed by another song she recognised seconds later as her ring tone. '_Damn I thought I had eliminated all sources of distraction!_ ', she thought to herself. She fidgeted in her pocket to find her cell and saw Brooke' s name on the display. Sighing she pulled her car to the margin of the road and pushed the answer button just in time because her cell had already stopped ringing.

'Where are you? Why did it took you so long to pick up your damn cell?', Brooke sounded really angry. Peyton wondered why that was so.

'Hey calm down I was driving on the Highway and I had to pull to the side. Do you want me to get involved in a accident? I don't think so.' , she said trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. But of course Brooke picked up on it and asked, this time compassion and worry swinging in her voice.

'Is something wrong, P. Sawyer? I can hear it in your voice. Tell me, come on. You can tell me anything. You do know that, don't you?'

Peyton felt kind of guilty for letting all her anger and confusion slip like that. She knew Brooke was only worried and she had nothing to do with her mess. She was the only one responsible for this and she had to figure out how. She was never good at that. Usually she had someone to talk to, to help her make up her mind, figure out what she had to do. Her best friend. The person who was on the other side of the line right now doing exactly this. But this was way to important to talk about over the phone. She had to see Brooke.

'I'm just a little bit... tired. I had to get out of the office and... I guess need some distraction you know. Do you know something by chance? I mean if someone can put my mind of this stuff it's you. You are Brooke Davis, the one and only.', she knew was not entirely honest but the part about distraction was true.

She just wasn't brave enough to admit the real reason yet. And the last part should have set Brooke's mind to work on some plan.

'Your wish is to be fulfilled. You know I called to ask you to come home because we have some unpacking to do. We have so much stuff still stocked in boxes everywhere. I look around and it doesn't look like our place yet. I could need your help. And you just said yourself you want to do something. So how does this sound?', Brooke said.

Peyton pictured their living room with all the boxes in the corner and how they really ought to work a little to make it feel like home. This was just perfect. This meant change, their new home and really good distraction, too.

'Sounds perfect', she said, grinning. 'I am on my way.'

And with that she turned around and headed to her new home, filled with the hope that she would feel better soon.

-0-

Peyton was standing in front of her new home, rummaging in her purse in search for the key Brooke gave her a few days ago. So she did not heard it immediately when Brooke opened the front door like she had been waiting for her.

She looked up and smiled at Brooke who embraced her seconds later in hug and led her in. When she had stepped inside the living room that looked even messier than before. Peyton could picture the scene perfectly: Brooke had picked up several boxes, opened them, checked the items and moved on the other ones doing the same not quite sure where to start. She shock her head grinning at the mere thought, which made her gain one of Brooke 's half-angry glares.

But this task was just perfect so she shoved her imaginary sleeves up a little bit, determination sparkling in her eyes and asked: 'So where do we start?'

Brooke raised her brow and motioned toward a box in the left corner and one immediately caught her attention. On the front cover it read 'Tree Hill High'. The fire that had filled her just moments ago vanished and was replaced with an uneasy feeling.

As if Brooke sensed her mood change she observed Peyton for a moment and asked: 'Is that ok or would you rather start with something else?'

Peyton met her gaze and shook her head while answering: 'No that's fine. Do you have a specific place or wall in mind as to where they should be? Because if you do I would like to know how many pictures to sort out.'

'Not yet. But just take care that everyone is in at least one picture, ok? You know Haley, Nathan, Mouth, Skills, you, me and...', Brooke hesitated and then added, 'Lucas. I know this is not easy for you but he belongs here. And you know you can always talk to me when something is bothering or upsetting you. I'm here for you, always.'

Not trusting her voice Peyton hugged her for a moment and then went over to the corner with the pictures containing many memories. And who knew this might help her. Confronting her fears and her past.

When she reached the box, she was careful to keep her back turned towards Brooke, not daring to look back. She could feel that Brooke was watching her.

With trembling fingers she removed the tape and the first photo she saw was of Brooke and herself in their first year at Tree Hill High, smiling up at the camera in their cheerleader outfit. It made her smile. It was just the two of them at that time, well mostly if you didn't count her on and off relationship with Nathan.

The next was one that made her heart clench. It showed Lucas with his arm around Brooke' s shoulder and her sitting closely beside him. The three of them seemed so comfortable. Lucas mesmerizing blue eyes were sparkling.

This reminded her of how her inability to admit her feelings for Lucas had made him turn toward Brooke while their affection had been mutual. A lot had been different when she had not been so afraid. She knew that know but Peyton also could not imagine what turn their life would have gone had Brooke and Lucas not become a couple. Sure it would have speared everyone a lot of drama but they had all learned a lot even if it had almost ended friendships and had left some broken hearts. But mistakes were made so you realized what went wrong and prevent it from happening again and it had made their bond even stronger when they had overcome their arguments.

Sighing she moved on the next which showed her and Lucas sitting next to each other at the river court followed by another similar one where she had her hair cut short. She remembered that time all too well. After she had found out about Ellie Lucas had been there for her whenever she needed him and in return she had kept his secret of saving Dan and his worries that he might have HCM.

They had been close and this was the first time when they had been real friends without any of their relationships getting in the way. She had felt content and happy despite her time progressing her parental issues. He had caught her when it had been the hardest for her, made her feel less alone.

She went to look at the next photo and sure enough it showed the three girls at Nathan and Haley's second wedding. If you did not know about the argument between the two bride's maids at that time you would not see it. But by that time Peyton had finally admitted to herself and Brooke that she had feelings for Lucas. Brooke had misunderstood her confession as a threat or warning that she planned to act on those feelings when in truth she had never thought about doing that giving their history and valuing their friendship too much. But all her pleading had not done anything to make Brooke see that.

Peyton remembered how glad she was when they finally worked things out. This memory made her turn around and look at her best friend, who was busy sorting dishes, careful not to break them.

Looking at this now made her believe that everything could be fixed if you only wanted to. She and her best friends had overcome all obstacles and were now moving in together. At several points she would have thought that to become impossible.

The next photo made her heart almost jump out of her chest. It showed her with Lucas, his arms wrapped around her waist and her smiling up at him, her eyes sparkling, a sparkle that was reflected in his eyes. They looked like nothing could disturb their happy trance.

She tried to remember when this picture was taken but could not figure it out. She looked at it for a while and tried to fill herself with the happiness that radiated from this picture. Was it really so long ago? Why was it so hard to remember a moment like this? A moment when they had been so captivated in each others gaze they failed to see anything but each other.

She closed her eyes for a moment trying to recall this memory but all she could see were amazing, kind, gentle and blue eyes looking down into her green ones in an imaginary hug just like in the photo. She was captivated by them and a warm and calming wave was filling her body from head to toe.

The same eyes that haunted her dreams lately and made her struggle to wake up but whenever she a closed her eyes again all she could see were these blue eyes. _Lucas' _eyes.

She got so carried away that when she felt warm hand on her shoulder she turned her head dreamily around, hoping it was him and felt a slight disappointment when it was Brooke. But the concerned yet understanding look Brooke gave her made her feel guilty for ever having felt like it.

'Got a little carried away, huh?', Brooke said softly. As usual Brooke knew exactly what was going on inside her head and she did not seemed to mind her previous look.

This was one of the reasons why she trusted her. Brooke always had her best interest at heart and Peyton had been looking for a chance to come up with this subject, so here it was. Why not start now?

'Yeah... You know I was trying to remember when this was taken. But no matter how hard I try I can't seem to recall the day.', she confessed.

Brooke smiled and answered her unspoken question. 'Luckily for you you happen to have the photograph right in front of you. I took it a week before you left for your internship in LA. When _I _recall correctly you guys were so lost in each other you did not even acknowledged anything or anyone around you. I swear there could have been a hurricane going on and you would not have realised it.' Brooke reported a warmth in her eyes telling her that she had not minded that at all because they were obviously really happy. And even though she did not doubted her story the part about the hurricane... Peyton shock her head, trying to hide the slide smile that grazed her lips now.

'You know...', Brooke said hesitantly as if unsure whether she should say what she was about to say, 'a few days back at the store...'. Brooke stopped there looking Peyton directly in the eye, signalling the next part was very important but just the mentioning of her almost fall made her nervous. She had an idea where this was going but did not trusted her thoughts to go there on their own, which would definitely would make her miss what Brooke was about to say.

So she just sat there rubbing her hand up and down her knee, waiting for Brooke to continue.

'...you kind of had the same look on your face. The same look like you have in the picture. Both of you.', she said pointing at the picture.

And the way Brooke had said that and her memory of hanging in Lucas' arms, his arms the only thing still holding her, along with the tingle and heat that had filled her made her realise that Brooke was right. She was falling for Lucas again. This was for sure.

But the remaining question was: How was Lucas feeling about her?

**So what do you think? The next chapter will be from Lucas POV again.**

**Also please check out my other story 'Memory Mix Tape'. Again, please review or give me other signs of feedback.**


	11. Broken Strings

**Hy guys so here comes my new chapter. Again I am sorry I didn't update. Time flies by so quickly lately before you know it months have passed.**

**So this chapter plays during** **episode** **5.06. I hope you like it. **

**LukePeyTLA & OTHGirl24 : Thank you for your review. Please give me a feedback.**

**Jamyj30: I am glad that you like my story and I already have some changes planned. I sometimes don't like Lucas behavior either but we have fanfiction, right? **

**Also thank you for adding this story and Memory Mix Tape to your story alert list.**

**Cowgirl7384: Did you read the other chapters since your review on chapter 2? If yes, please give me a feedback. **

**Thank you to kit147 and coffelover328 for following my story.**

**Also to all those who have to story on alert and previously reviewed and have to wait for update. I would be very happy to hear from you. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH and its characters. It belongs to Mark Schwan and the CW.**

Broken Strings

_by James Morrison & Nelly Furtado_

Lucas

Lucas was in his car, his hands clasping the back of his neck and his eyes shut. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know right now. He knew what he should do, rationally.

Peyton had hurt Lindsay, his girlfriend. Apparently she didn't like her. OK, given their history or more precisely his past with Peyton he should be mad at her. She offended Lindsay. But somehow he couldn't. When he had stormed into Peyton' s office to talk to her or rather tried to she had looked exhausted and from her manner she seemed to have quite some problems with her label, missing artist and Brooke' s mom (which never helped to ease a mind) and apparently with her decision to move back to Tree Hill and _him. _This last snippet was what disturbed him the most. He kept asking himself what had caused her to doubt her decision and what made her say 'I can't do with this right now. No you cannot help me right now. This is the last thing that I want.'

Even if the label wasn't going as good as she had expected she never was a person who gave up easily and she had many supporters, but the way she had snapped at him made him worried.

But to avoid a conversation with him this vehemently and phrasing it like that? Sure there had been some situations in the past few weeks that had made him think about her, more often than he led on actually. But he couldn't wrap his head around why she was possessing his thoughts like that.

Especially since the CoB opening. He was still confused about his own actions. This guy hadn't treated her the way he should have and he had felt obliged to tell her that. She had been all that mattered at that moment. But her outburst afterwords had evoked a guilt in him. He didn't want to make her cry. But at the same time he didn't regretted in the least the short time she had leaned into him, it had felt just right.

Lindsay had perceived him more vary ever since the ladder incident and she wasn't the worst. Haley seemed on alert as to anything on the subject. She tried to hide it but he knew Haley too well. Her eyes seem to react to every word and action he took, and he was certain she had seen him talk to Peyton and them running out of the store together. She was watching them for sure.

When he and Lindsay were at Nathan ans Haley's an hour ago some things happened. First Haley defended Peyton because she knew about the problems they had with Victoria. She did it kind of playfully as to try not to sound as if she wanted to increase the tension but Lindsay' s reply didn't leave any doubt that she mistrusted Peyton. The way she had said :'There is more to it than that. Peyton feels like she has some sort of jurisdiction over Lucas because of their past.' He had felt an urge to defend Peyton as well, knowing very well that it wouldn't help convincing Lindsay to the opposite. But he couldn't help himself. He had always been and still felt like her protector.

Also he couldn't shake the feeling that he wanted Peyton to be jealous or claim his attention. It assured him of their connection, a connection which status he was trying to decipher. All those mentioning her didn't make it easier.

He gazed up at the window to Peyton' s office where he had been parking for the last our or so. He needed to see Peyton. He just had to talk to hear to find out what was going on his head right now. What she was thinking about? He had to figure our why she disliked Lindsay. Was it because of him? And if it was – and his stomach warmed at the thought – what did it meant for them?

-0-

Peyton was sitting at her desk. She seemed to be drawing something. As he perceived her he could sense that she was thinking something through. Apparently she had a lot on her mind. Her shoulders were slumped.

He quietly made his way over while rubbing his hands together nervously.

"I saw light on", he said and she looked up, not happy to see him. "Which isn't surprising how hard you work."She was about to say something the tension still in her posture.

He sad down on the chair in front of her.

He sensed the following words would hurt her, they weren't the gentle tone he usually used but given their last conversation and her current mood he doubted it would work so he got straight to the point.

"You know you haven't been yourself lately, Peyton. I mean not the Peyton I remember."

She replied calmly but didn't look up to meet his eyes, hiding her feelings. "Well I haven't been that Peyton in three years." That comment hit its mark and it hurt. He knew deep down that something must have happened to make her reflect like that so he asked: "What happened?"

She hesitated at first but finally looked up and closed up her pencil.

"OK...I went by my old house yesterday. There is a teenage girl living there now.. And she showed me my closet door. And you know what that said?", the way she was looking at him now almost dared him to answer, an answer he could see in his mind as if he stood directly in front of mentioned closet door. How could he not know?

"Lucas and Peyton: True Love Always. That's what we were supposed to have. Until you showed up in LA three years ago and ambushed me."

"If by ambushed you you mean proposed to you?", he replied, barely holding his voice. Was that how she saw his proposal? He had yearned for her, wanted to be with her forever and she felt ambushed?

And her reply made it hard for him to keep calm: "Oh, yeah out of the blue. A proposal that had been driven by an insecurity I have never been able to understand."

He couldn't believe it. His feelings were in a turmoil and it took all his regained prospective on that particular night not to stand up and shake her. He wanted to shake her and make her see his point. Did she really saw his proposal as insecurity? He had wanted to see her everyday because he had been sure that they belonged together. How come two people who had been supposedly in love saw a significant situation so differently?

"Insecurity, right. Let me tell you how you get always,Peyton, when a man asks you to marry him, you say yes. You don't say no and call him insecure.", he was surprised his voice was still calm.

"I never said no! I said that I loved you and that I did want to marry you someday.", she said pointing her hands at him and shaking her head from left to right. "Oh god Luke, I did want you so bad but you gave up on us."

He couldn't hold it anymore and stood up, gazing down at her disbelievingly.

Leading his palm his chest he exclaimed: "I gave up on us?"

"Yes." Peyton shouted.

"By proposing I gave up on us?", he asked again. This couldn't be real. Her eyes widened, sadness and regret reflected in her emerald pools.

"No. By not waiting you gave up on us. That's the truth and you know it.'", Peyton said with an evident tremor in her voice that always marked her emotional than stood up, going to the shelf and turning her back to him.

Not waiting? Not waiting? Please what? They had got together after all this time, only to be separated by her moving to LA. Yes, he had wanted her to do this internship to go after her dream and he had accepted Whitey's offer as co-coach but he had truly thought it would work. But his yearning and his wish to see her and share his happy moments with her was anything but giving up!

All the feelings he had felt after her rejection burst through. All the feelings, the rage he had kept bottled up for three years.

"That's great Peyton you wanna talk truth? Let's tell the truth. You gave up on me. That's why you said no. You didn't think I could do it. You didn't think I could get my novel published. Maybe you just didn't care. Because it wasn't about you or what you wanted."

That made her turn around to meet his gaze. Anger and rustration shimmered in her eyes and he could see tears trying to leak out.

"Well if that's the truth. If I never cared then how come every time I see this stupid book I buy it, every stupid damn time.", she screamed, grabbing each exemplar with a fury that made him doubt his theory. Whenever Peyton was this angry she truly cared. She bought every copy of his novel. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know any more but his head was aching. This was so confusing. All that he had talked himself into believing about her reasons shattered.

And her next words increased those feelings. He dug his hands into his waist and bit his lip trying to hold his ground.

"You said I was great. You said I could be great. You said we were meant to be together. You said it to me. You said it to the world and I wish you never had because you didn't mean any of it."she was barely holding herself together, her hand covering her mouth and she on the wedge of tears.

Lucas all the while speechless and he tried hard to focus on his balance. He was so captivated by her outburst, her sparkling eyes that he forgot to avoid the last book she was throwing.

It hit him on his forehead and his already unstable body stumbled backwards a few steps, his thigh meeting the chair he had previously sat in and he fell over it.

The last thoughts that ran through his head before he got unconscious were: 'She heard me. She heard what I said about her and it mattered. The one person I wanted to give self-confidence and trust within herself, heard me.'

**OK so this was a little shorter than usual. But the next chapter picks up right here and continues in 5.07 so please review. **

**Your reviews and/or story alert make me anxious to check my mails.**


	12. Because of you

**AN: Hey guys. Sorry for the unreasonable amount of time it took me to update. I had about the first half of the chapter done for months but it felt like something was missing and I did not want to give you only an incomplete chapter.**

**The summer has been full of studying and reports, so the months passed in a blur. **

**I hope you like this chapter. Today I felt inspired again and I knew I had to finish this chapter at least. **

**I got an anonymous review asking for an update and the timing fitted with my newly inspired mind. Whoever send that review, here is your answer and maybe I can get a name so I can address you personally.**

**OTHGirl24: Thank you for following my story so faithfully and leaving a review each time.**

**Suze18: Thank you and I hope you like this chapter as well.**

**Hildorfr: This chapter should give you an idea how it will continue but the next chapter will be longer and spins it further. **

**LurveDreamer: It's good to hear from you again. I was missing your reviews. Did you change your pen name again? Your compliment means a lot and despite my not so soon updates let me know. The events will unravel further next chapter.**

**As always R&R. Reviews are love and support, plus they motivate me to write again (and maybe update a little more regular?).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH and its characters. It belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.**

Because of You

_by Kelly Clarkson_

_Peyton_

Everything was happening so fast.

One moment they were having this passionate, heated discussion, her barely holding her herself together as all those feelings rushed through her.

First pain at the image of the door in her mind and the reminder of what she had lost because of that night in LA when she hadn't made up her mind yet and had realized too late that her answer would make her loose Lucas.

Then his hurt voice at totally misunderstanding her and her being unable to say him what she really wanted to tell him, what she subconsciously felt in her gut but just couldn't express. That she had lost all hope that night at ever being happy again and had to rearrange every aspect of her life in LA to make herself believe again, in her dreams and her own decisions.

She had figured a part of her mistakes out since returning to Tree Hill but a great part of her mind and heart was still foggy.

So she took her stashed up feelings at herself out at him.

And all the hurt had broken out of her until she told him one by one the reasons his proposal had changed her, made her a different person. A person she herself wasn't sure she knew anymore.

With him she has always known the risk of being deeply hurt but on the other side undeniably happy. Now all she felt was anger.

So when he accused her of not believing in his novel – which had kind of become her bible – and in the words that had made her return here and regaining and reshaping her life again in a way she felt was right until all the fury took over. And while the tears where threatening to come, the grabbed one copy after another and threw it at him.

Her vision was blurry but when she saw his lean statue fading and her brain registering that he was falling backwards it was too late.

Peyton stared at Lucas while he was falling to the ground, mouth agape and shock threatening to overwhelm her.

'No, no, no! This could not be happening.' The fury she had felt moments before because seemingly he hadn't understood anything faded away quickly and made place for fear and concern.

She rushed over to him. His head had hit the floor and he had taken the chair with him. It was lying down sideways, but she only briefly looked at the chair.

Her emerald eyes were glued to his unconscious face, her hands were rushing over his cheeks, his forehead and wandering down to his neck. She places two fingers on his pulse and relieve flooding her when she felt his steady heartbeat. She then turned her head so that her cheek was over his mouth and felt his breath on her cheek.

She straitened her back a little and watched his peaceful face. Her fingers brushed over his sleeve and she felt a little cut there. Her breathing got heavy and she let her fingers wonder, but was glad she didn't found anything else, even after lifting his head carefully and inspecting the back of his head and placing a cushion under it.

But now that she was done examining him her head had room to think. This was Lucas lying here and she was anxious for any movement of his lips or his eyes.

She did not dare think about what might happen if he would not wake up soon. She was no way near resolving her feelings and needed him. Even if it hurt her, as it always did when she was reminded of her reaction to his proposal. It hunted her in her dreams and she wished her heart had caught up with her head in time. This could not end like this. This was not how it was supposed to go.

She refused to accept this outcome of events. All the while she was shaking her head furiously, backing away from Lucas unconscious body, but her legs gave in minutes later so that she was on the floor again. She covered her head in her palms, but spreading them lightly to catch any movement Lucas might do. But as the tears continued to flow it was becoming impossible and she closed her fingers.

All this happened in a matter of minutes and as Peyton was caught up in her desperate thoughts she did not see Lucas' eyelids slowly fluttering open.

_Lucas _

His mind awakened and he was hit by a sharp pain in his sleeve. His mind tried to recollect where he was. It felt like he was on the floor because his shoulder ans legs were on something hard but his head wasn't. It felt like his head was rested on something soft.

Where was he? It wasn't a bed ans it wasn't a couch. When he slowly tried to lift his eyelids he was met by bright lights and quickly closed them again. Why was his head aching as if he had been hit very hard on the back of his head?

The last thing he remembered was Peyton being angry at him about something. It involved his novel ans it somehow made him happy. A mix of relieve and pure joy and... hope?

What was the meaning of all this? He had to find out what was going on so he decided to open his eyes despite the blending light. He was looking straight at the ceiling, so he must be lying on his back. When he turned his head to the left he spotted a red couch and a few red chairs and... a copy of his novel a few centimeters next to his head with a few drops of blood?

He had to see what was in front of him and lifted his head lightly. As soon as his ears were lifted of the cushion he heard a noise. It sounded like someone was crying but the sound was very dim and muffled.

He saw _her _kneeling in front of him, her head covered by her palms and choking back tears.

Why was Peyton so sad? Who had made her cry? He was furious.

He had not seen her cry since... the opening. And back then it was him who had hurt her. But this time it could not be him right? He did not want to hurt her ever and the thought that he might be responsible for this was unbearable.

He looked as her and whispered her name.

_Peyton_

She heard her name. It couldn't be _him. _But then she realized it could only be him. Not only was he the only other person in the room with her but he was the only one with the power to get her attention when she was so lost in her own mind.

She lifted her palms of of her face and her emerald eyes immediately locked with his blue ones. She did not know what she expected but what she not...determination and worry for _her? _She had knocked him out and he was worried about her?

She rushed over to him without getting up and was by his side in a few seconds and grabbed his left hand. The relieve flooding her at him reawakening only registered in her mind when she felt his fingers squeeze hers. It reminded her of so many good memories the relieve was accompanied by happiness. The mood swings she had relived through in the last few minutes forced her to close her eyes for a second to settle herself and when she opened her eyes again Lucas was halfway sitting up and his right hand reached for her cheek and gently caressed it. She leaned into the caress and smiled into the touch. His eyes had captivated hers again, holding it with feelings that mirrored her own.

They stayed like that for a few minutes but then Lucas let out a moan and his hand left her cheek and he sunk back to the ground.

Peyton realized that while they were caught in that very emotional moment she had completely forgotten about his injury. She hadn't even called an ambulance so she started to get up and run to her desk where she had left her cell.

Her hands were trembling and a millisecond before she was about to dial the emergency number she heard him say: "Peyton, no."

She turned around, surprised that he had the strength to speak and stop her. Was he not worried about his own injuries?

"I am so sorry! Because of my thoughtless behavior you are hurt. You need help. You hit your head pretty hard and you are bleeding. I have to call an ambulance. Please let me help you.", all her inner torment set itself free.

He seemed to sense her panic because he gave a short "ok" and said nothing before she had made the call.

She rushed to his side after hanging up. She let her hand wander under his back, around his waist and the other hand took his shoulder and with much effort she lifted him up. He leaned into her and even tried to walk himself. They surely could have reached the chair earlier but the remained in this half-hug longer than necessary as if by silent agreement.

When Peyton had finally brought him to the chair, he refused to let her go and held on to her shoulder and lowered his hand so that he was grabbing her lower arm. She tried to break his grip on her, unsuccessfully, and instead she gave in and stayed by his side until the ambulance arrived. The effort it took to avoid his gaze took all her inner strength.

**AN: So what do you think? **

**I did a little change of perspective in between. As the next chapter will be from Lucas' POV you will see the events revolve from here on. It spins this chapter's events further and they will be included in the arc surrounding episode 5.07 aka the Tric opening and the big LP-fight but with a different background. **

**Please read and review. I need your feedback.**


	13. Anti-Hero & I run to you Part 1

**Sorry, sorry, sorry. I have had school, work and preparations for my final exams that will be in two months, so I've been busy non-stop since I updated last year. **

**But I found time to write down the ideas for this chapter that have been in my head since July 2012 and shortly after that. I hope you like it. It is only the first part, the next will be my version of the concert in episode 5.07. But I wanted to give to this until I can make time to write again. **

**Thanks to everyone who has been patient and waiting for updates. **

**Mela18 and Suze18: Thank you. This chapter shall give you a hint though the second part of it will define it more clearly. **

**RJMoonspell4: Thank you for the review. Let me know what you think.**

**OTHGirl24: Thank you for being a faithful reader and tell me what you think of this development. It hints at the changes I am planning.**

**Kit147: I am happy that my story made you rewatch those fantastic Leyton seasons. **

**Thank you also to those who added my story to story alert. It would make me very happy if you would leave a short review as well.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. It belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.**

**Anti-Hero**

_by Marlon Roudette_

**I run to you**

_by Lady Antebellum_

**Part 1**

Lucas

Lucas slowly opened his eyes. Bright light was blending him and he shut them again. He tried to sense where he was. He was lying in a comfortable bed, his head was hurting, and he apparently had a bandage that covered his upper head. And he felt a needle in his left arm.

Was he in a hospital? How had he got here? His memory was still foggy. So he opened his eyes and after his eyes got adjusted to the light he saw that he was indeed in a hospital.

And more importantly there was someone sitting in a chair next to his bed. A woman with blond curls and she had her head rested on her right hand. But it was unmistakably Peyton.

She was leaning in the not-so-comfortable looking visitors chair and had apparently fallen asleep. But there was something off with her posture. He expected he to have he head turned toward him. After all it seemed as if she had brought him here, he felt it in his gut that she had come here with him. Then why did it appear that she was keeping her eyes fixed on her left arm? It had to mean something... if he could only guess what.

And then it all came back to him like a flash. The fight, her confession and the emotions they evoked in him and him being hit by a copy of his novel. And after that how worried, yet beautiful she had looked in that moment, avoiding his gaze and how he didn't want to let go of her _left arm!_

Could that be? Was she thinking about that? And what had been going on in her head in this moment? What had caused her to avoid his look? She didn't do that without a reason.

But his thoughts were yet interrupted because just after he had it partly figured out the door opened and a nurse entered his room.

"Ah Mr Scott, I see you are awake. How are you?", she asked.

"Ok. My head still hurts. Why is my head bandaged by the way?", he said.

"You have a light concussion and were bleeding when you came in. But the concussion should be gone in a about two weeks. The doctor already subscribed you medicine. But it you should stay here tonight just in case.", she explained to him.

"Ah ok. Thank you. How long was I unconscious?", he asked a little uncertain. How long had Peyton been here? He entered her office in the late afternoon, so he had no guess how long he has been out.

"In about six hours. Your girlfriend called the ambulance and stayed with you since. Why don't we wake her and let her see you are up?", she said with a smile and went to over to the sleeping Peyton.

"She is not...", he started to say, slightly red in the face but it was too late. The nurse had already began waking Peyton and she was stirring awake. He could see her move a little.

He debatted with himself what to do but it didn't take long for him to realize that he couldn't run from talking to Peyton about what had happened. Not if the nurse left the room to presumably get a doctor, since she assumed Peyton to be his _girlfriend. _

He didn't know what to think, where to start. They were only starting to clear the past, and Peyton's confession indicated that she regretted her refusal of his proposal which would be contrary to every scenario he had set up for himself since then. He knew he had to talk to her but despite the progress they were making in getting along, if you could call it that, it was never easy. And his gut told him he had to but... something was holding him back. Fear or something else?

Indeed once Peyton had awoken the nurse said: "He is awake sweetheart. I'll get the doctor to check on him.

The nurse turned around and just before she completely closed the door she looked from Peyton to him with an encouraging smile.

Lucas turned his head and saw Peyton looking at him. She was biting her lower lip which he read as that she wasn't sure what to do either but her emerald eyes looked relieved.

"So... you okay? How is your head?", she asked hesitantly almost, but not quite meeting his gaze.

"Good I think. The nurse said I have a concussion so that would explain the ache but that's ok." , he answered and as soon as he said it regretted it because he saw guilt wash over her face and small tears in the corners of her eyes that she wanted to suppress but he saw it anyway.

"What is it? Why are you crying?", he asked concerned and saw surprise wash over her face for a second, and she turned her head but finally met his gaze guilt, defeat and shame in her eyes.

"Because it is my fault here. If I hadn't thrown the book at you you wouldn't be here in the first place. If I had my emotions under control you wouldn't be hurt.", she admitted and he read in her eyes that she meant every word she said.

Her fault? Rubbish? They had both gotten emotional and if he had remembered while taking steps back that there was a chair which he could fall over backwards it wouldn't have happened. But it was important that the cleared the things they said, mostly what she said. It hurt, yes, it made them uncomfortable with each other yes, but it was necessary.

"No Peyton. We both had our share in the argument. Don't you blame only yourself. I could have watched where I walked, I shouldn't have accused you of not caring, I know that now. I saw how many copies of 'Unkindness of Ravens' you have. And I see why you think you are to blame but you are not, ok? Don't beat yourself up. Promise me that you won't.", Lucas said and while he said it he tried to get up, so that he was sitting on the edge of his bed now.

Peyton looked at him with tears running down her face now and she had her eyes wide open and her mouth as well, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't. She also started walking toward him and upon realizing that he was about to stand up, she rushed forward and laid her hands on his shoulder and keeping him down.

Their eyes met and their faces were only inches apart. He could feel her breath on his lips and she smelled like linoleum and strawberry. And he was about to lean in when the nurse from before entered with a the doctor right behind her.

"Um... Are we interrupting something?", the doctor asked somewhat uncomfortable.

Lucas and Peyton broke apart, slightly read in the face and looking down on the floor.

**AN: So what do you think? Please take your time and leave a short feedback.**

**TrueLoveAlwaysLP**


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